First off, let me just say that you are amazing! You are strong. Yes, you’ve been dealt a bad hand, but you’ve been able to adapt and adjust. I have this crazy motto, “There’s a solution to every problem, except death.” There’s a reason you’ve gone through what you’ve gone through, and that is to build the strength and courage to continue. I’m sensing that you are using a lot of your time and energy being worried, in a state of distress, but perhaps what you should try doing is not focus on the worry, yes, it is a lot to worry about, but when you’re constantly focused on what you don’t have, or scarcity in money, love, happiness, that is what the universe will bring you. Once you reshape your thoughts, start focusing on how the universe has your back and how things will work in your favor, just shift your mentality around, attract all the good and focus only on that, and see if there’s a change. I’m sure what I’m saying is nothing new to you, but sometimes we could use a little reminder. Praying it all works for the best for you.