This could have been a post written by me 20 years ago.

There are a few things going on:

1. People view you as “safe”, so when you (to them suddenly) speak up, set boundaries, they (suddenly) feel that they have lost you as their safe zone.

2. People can have the barnyard mentality. They never actually pick on the “dead dog”, but they will pick on you if they are lower down on the totem pole. You asserting yourself makes them think “Even she’s alpha over me! I don’t think so!” True Queen Bees or Kingpins don’t act this way. But the Wannabe’s and Toadies do!

Example: Everyone was telling me how supportive everyone is at the local Triathlons. I enter and my bike gets brake problems. So little by little I see that I am falling behind! (I am coasting on the bike now). Everyone who would place under 2 hours were great and supportive. But the people placing over 2 hours were terrified that I would beat them! It was beyond the natural competition. It was more, “OMG, I’m going to be beat by the middle-aged mom, oh no, not that!!” Whenever I would pass this one girl I’d hear her swear! She would pass me. I would pass her. Swearing! etc.!

I think what you’re experiencing is a “dominance” thing.

3. It’s easier to say “No’ once. Believe me.

4. They don’t speak to you again? Great! That means that they are actually afraid of you now! They know the jig is up! That you see right through them!

5. Now you are free to find better, quality friends. The more strong, respectful people you interact with, them more these other types will fade away.