Rewa,

If you are having this state, then 100 other people are living it or have lived it.

Seek out the other nuns who want to leave. There might be more than you think!

Or, in town (can you leave?) find ex-nuns. They will share their stories and perhaps give you a place to stay.

Your weakness is you believe you are alone. But I promise you there are others who have been there and will help.

You need a support group in real life. Then the culture won’t seem so daunting.