As I seem to cannot edit my first post, I posted a new one here instead 🙂 I want to keep this as a diary on my progress and to hear from people who are interested in the topic. Hope that can help some passerby too.

The after math and the pain: I do not want to whine too much about the pain after a breakup, as I’m more than sure that those who had deep and serious relationships ended how how hard it is. I cried myself to sleep so many nights that I could not remember, cried in the shower, even spend a few days just laying in bed and crying. The butterfly in the stomach of being in love turned to the gut wrenching pain of a broken soul. What’s worse than that, I’m approaching my nightmare of turning 30 and being considered as a hopeless leftover in my country’s culture. I had a cancelled engagement, broken future plans and non-stop flows of negative thinking…

Week 1-4: The worst weeks after a break up. Also the weeks that I committed many of the “DON’Ts” after breaking up: stalking on FB, desparately contacting in as many ways as possible, trying to find a way to get him back…. But the funny thing is, if I get to choose to undo and re-act things at that time, I will still do the same. I learned that it’s just natural to do so. They are even necessary steps for you to reach further post-breakup phases. Some DOs that I found helpful in my case during this time:
DO cry as much as you want. Tears exist for a reason. It will help lessen your pain, and it’s not your job to always be the strong one.
DO confide in your loved ones and close friends. They might scold you, but they love you no matter what. They will help you see that there are my others worthing your love instead of someone who chose to leave you.
DO spoil yourself for sometime, let your mind run free with What If, Why, or replay the time you had with your ex. It’s just natural to do so, and soon, your mind and body will get tired of the pain those memories bring and switch to something else. It’s also highly impossible to force your mind into NOT thinking about your ex, so let it be. It will stop for sure.
DO clear things out with your ex if you stil have questions unanswered. It’s a legit reason to contact them. It’s better to clear once and for all, than to let those unanswered questions keep you back from healing, or worse, give you reasons to reach out to your ex here and there.