July 15, 2014 at 9:55 am #60968
Hi all, 8 months ago, my heart got crushed with the first signs of a looming dark ending for my relationship, and to be honest, it’s still in shattered pieces right now. But I found Tiny Buddha during my healing process, and thought it would be so nice to share my story here, as I realized there are so many going through the pain like me. I called it The Breakup Diary, and would love to share my story as well as hearing from all of you who are going through the same ordeal. I think it will lessen our pain somewhat, and help us achieve the final goal together, become a better you for future love 🙂 English is not my native language, so please spare the errors in writing. I will try to update it twice every week with my healing process.
I met him during the final semester in my Master Course, we lived in the same corridor. Just after the first date, I know he would be the big love of my life, and he thought the same. The feelings, the compatibility and everything were incredible. Even until now, my broken heart and I still agreed that we can not thank him more for giving us such an amazing love. We had 3 months together, and I had to move back to my country. It became a long distance relationship, and with long, I mean, very long with 15 hours just for flying, not including the transits or everything else. The initial plan was that I would come back and find a way to reunite with him. Even though it was long-distanced, we barely broke off contact for even one single day, and neither want to find another closer person because we would only want the love from the other one. We tried to see each other in person every 6 months. It went really great for 3 years, I worked my ass off to save money for flights and to prove that I can support myself financially without his support (as he’s still studying and would have to study another 2 years, he can not support me), just so I can get a long term visa plan. I made all the preparations about leaving my home, friends, family, a good job, a high position in the society to be able to be with him and start as a nobody. I found it hard sometimes just thinking about the hassles, but we loved each other so much that I found it impossible to leave him. I am a very strong and independent woman, and I am a fighter when it comes to love, so to me, as long as you still love the person, you fight for it no matter what.
The breakup: I always have a feeling that I had to endure this breakup three times. It all started after we stressed out last December, when he could not make the trip to my country for the engagement again (we planned it in August the first time). “I think we should break up” was what started my long painful journey, even now, when typing these words here, I could barely hold my tears from coming out. I managed to convince him to give it another try, that it might be because we did not see each other for the whole year long and that we were too stressed. I threw away the engagement plan, arranged my work and dragged myself to his country just to be able to see him and did whatever to save the situation, but came back with a shattered heart and a firm “no” from him in making things work. In March, we officially broke up, but for the three months after that, we still kept contact by dropping words and I still had so much hope that we could come back together. But finally, I made the move to clear things and to ask him one last time, if he said yes, I would drop anything and fly there to be with him. I said I would like to do it even if it would be 99% that we failed later. He said that it would be better to move on, and that by the time we can be together, the passion would die out completely already, even though at that time, he still loved me as he admitted. This was truly the final blow, and I finally realized that, there’s nothing left for me to hold onto anymore…
So here I am, sitting alone with an aching heart, at the time that it’s just 2 months more until I can be with him permanently.July 15, 2014 at 4:43 pm #61004
Hi there Arient,
I am in the same boat as you are but with a lot of twists and turns in the story. But I am really happy where I am today and I hope to find a guy who will love me with all his heart and treat me right. You story literally reminded me of my past.
My story is way too long but here it goes. I met him for the first time when I was in my sophomore year in college. I was never into guys and dating from the beginning as I was very academic oriented girl and din want to fall into all this at that age. He was in my class and I had hardly spoken to him but I believe he was noticing me all the time and liked me. He finally came and proposed to me out of the blue. Initially I was very hesitant as I too focused on my education, career etc etc but somehow I gave in. Everything was perfect for a year (I must say it was a fairytale story). Everyone in college knew about us and they envied us as a couple. I was on cloud nine and everyday was nothing but happiness and joy with him around me all the time. The problem was I never let this distract me from my academics but he did. He flunked in school and everything changed after that. He started blaming me for that and all of a sudden he started avoiding me and one day he randomly said he wants to break up with me. His reason was – my parents think you are not beautiful, he accused me of being ugly when in reality I am not. I felt so betrayed, humiliated, insulted. I felt like I lost everything in my life. I have no words to describe how I felt. This really got onto me and I started to lose weight like crazy as I would spend most of my days and nights crying and worrying how he could do this to me. I was admitted to the hospital twice because of weakness. But I somehow mustered all my courage, not for my sake but for my parents sake because they were really hurt to see me in that situation. Even though my heart was wounded, I knew that I had let go of my goal of going for a higher education go astray because of all this. So, I decided to focus on my life again. I prepared for my entrance exams and it was time for me to pursue my dream of going to grad school even though I was still shattered and so much in pain. I had to leave my parents and my country. Right before leaving, he text me and apologized and said that he wants me in his life and he would do anything to have me in his life.
Before I met him, I was a very confident, talented and strong girl but once I got into this relationship, I had to let go of all my interests, dancing, friends and more. He wasn’t letting be myself but I was so much in love that I couldn’t see what he was doing to me.
So, I forgive him and decide to give it another try. By that time he had flunked one more time (even though I wasn’t there in his life to distract him as he had accused me earlier). So, he had moved to my hometown to work until school started again (which he hid from me, god knows why). Anyways, I moved to US and preparing myself to start grad school. I was so excited about coming here and I would try to email me as and when I could but he would hardly respond and that would break my heart waiting for his response eagerly. I would try to call him from my cousins phone and he would hardly answer. I missed him a lot and I wanted his support but he was never there for me. He would always say something insensitive and hurt my feelings. He would never be a part of any of my accomplishments. My first day of grad school, it was a different experience in a different country and I wanted to share it with him so eagerly, he never bothered to ask me anything about it. I was awarded a full time scholarship and as usual he never bothered, I received an award as a best researcher and was sent to present my findings at an international conference, again don’t care attitude. I got an internship with a good company, again don’t care attitude. I graduated with a summa cum laude and our graduation ceremony was streamed online and he gave me reasons why he din watch it. I got a full time job and bought a new car, he din help me pick a car or with anything literally. Somebody tried to break in to my apartment and I was scared and crying but he never gave me a call to check if I was safe. I was craving for his love, his support, his appreciation the whole time but he never gave me what I deserved. If I said anything he would always threaten me saying he would break up with me and he is so handsome that he will find many girls. I foolishly kept giving in to all his temper tantrums and let him treat me wrong for eight long years. I was determined to have him in my life but I was just an option in his life. I sacrificed my whole life to live the way he wanted me to live and he would still doubt me and say nasty things to me. By this point, I had lost all my confidence, I was scared to talk to people because of his false accusations, I wouldn’t step out of the house coz if I did not answer his call or text him when he did I would be in big trouble and he would threaten to leave me. I felt so uncomfortable leading a life like this and was so confused and messed up. I lost my apetite, sleep, peace of mind. This relationship consumed me in every possible way. He was never there for me when I wanted him. Everytime I would see other couples happily and madly in love, I would ask myself why is this happening to me? He was literally using me for all that he and his friends wanted. I felt so lost and gave up all hopes on love and relationships. After breaking up a zillion times and coming back to me (For 8 long years he would tell me that the reason for break up was his parents aren’t accepting me), he finally spoke to his parents about me and they agreed. I got a chance to talk to his dad once they agreed and his dad said that “If he had told me earlier about you, then it wouldn’t take so long”. That’s when it made sense to me and I felt like I was hit with a brick – He was lying to me the whole freaking time. That’s why he wouldn’t come to the airport when I went to see him twice, he wouldn’t care for me or my situation or my emotions. That’s why he would find reasons not to call me, not to video chat with me, not to text me. I can go on and on but I hope you get the gist. That’s when I gathered all my courage and I broke up with him and told him that he doesn’t deserve me. He had his share of drama but I had decided not to yield in again and fool myself. I know I deserve much much better and will find my soulmate and true love.
My advice to you: If a guy decides to break up, don’t keep pleading him to take you back or feel sorry for yourself. It means that he doesn’t deserve a wonderful girl like you in his life. You will find a guy who will treat you right and keep you happy. Don’t waste your tears and time for a person who doesn’t deserve it. If I had listened to all my friends and parents when they told me to let go of him, I wouldn’t have to go through so much pain. But I learned my lesson a hard way and now I am living my life to the fullest. Freedom feels fantastic!!! I am back in touch with all my long lost friends, I am dancing again 🙂 I am doing a lot of fun and adventure stuff, life is good. At times, I think about him and ask myself if I should give him another chance. But then I tell myself if I give him another chance then I won’t be myself for the rest of my life. So, the answer is NO. I gave him way too many chances and he did not live upto it.
Stay positive and be happy girl. A lot of people go through what we have been through and if they can find their soulmate and lead a happy life then so can we. Above all, god knows what’s best for you and he will deliver it to you when the time is right. Till then enjoy your life and keep smiling. Lastly, thanks for reading my lonnnnngggg story. God bless you 🙂July 16, 2014 at 6:33 am #61035
Thank you so much for sharing your story with me!! 😀 I had a hard time just thinking about the pain that you had to endure. But your ex really don’t deserve such a great woman like you 🙂 You will surely find a man who can love you truly 🙂 I feel very encouraged. I am still in the healing process, but I am sure that I will do just great 😉July 16, 2014 at 11:05 pm #61109AnonymousInactive
A breakup is such a enduring process both physically and mentally. My ex and I were together 4 years before we decided to call it quits and the plain truth is that we gave up on each other and I was devastated during that time.
After the fact, I started dating again and it was a wreck because I was terrible at being single and I was still in love with her. It took a long time for those wounds to heal, it was a scary time in my life. Having to start over was something I thought I wouldn’t have to do but here it was, time to move forward without her by my side.
As time went on I began reflecting on my life and the things I had to move onward on rebuild all those fractures within me. So I entrusted the universe and it brought me to my current girlfriend and she’s amazing in every sense of the word. I even maintain a healthy friendship with my ex (who is also happily dating someone)
The point of my response is that we can’t control every aspect of our
lives but sometimes there’s beauty in chaos. Believe that things will remedy themselves (the law of attraction) and believe that the universe (or whatever you believe in) will make things right for you at the right time. Endure the pain, feel it, every bit. After its all said and done you can say “hey life, is that all you got?”July 17, 2014 at 11:06 am #61151knomn08Participant
I met an amazing man at work. He was funny, we had a lot in common with our upbringings, interest and work. But it was a mess. He had recently (six months prior) gotten out of a 5 year relationship. In my heart I knew he wasn’t ready to date, but I was so worried about missing the opportunity to be with him, that I ignored the signs. So we were together. As together as two people who rarely saw each other and mostly communicated via text and email could be. He stayed the night a couple of times a week and during those few hours we were together, I was happy and convinced that this was going to work. But then he would leave and I wouldn’t hear from him, as he had his own life and his own things to deal with. But that scared me. It scared me because I wasn’t invited in to be part of those things. And, in a way, I didn’t invite him to be a part of my things. Or, if I did, I gave him an out. And out to protect myself from what I assumed would be rejection. And, I suppose, an out as a test for him to prove he cared about me as much as I wanted him to, a silly hope that he would ignore my option of saying “no.” But the truth is, I wasn’t being honest with him. As most everyone I’ve told this story to has said, I also wasn’t being honest with myself. So a few months later, we are to today. An email and brief phone conversation earlier this week set the stage for an impending conversation I’ve been afraid to would come. The one I thought I would avoid by giving up my needs to show him that I was the girl he needed. That I would heal all his wounds and we would live happily ever after, like a romance novel. What I didn’t realize was the whole time I was trying to be his healer, I was destroying myself. This is a pattern I see a lot in my life. I care-take those around me, often times at my own expense. I want desperately to have a purpose, a meaning, a reason for people to want to be with me and around me, and I thought giving so much of myself would create that reality for me. But it didn’t. All it’s done is bring me to this day. To this website. To this Breakup Diary. And to this story. A story that I’m telling a million strangers because I want someone to say something to me that will make this better. That will bring me to the place of change and hope and happiness. I don’t know what he is going to tell me tomorrow, but I assume I know the end. And I fear I won’t get out all the things I want him to know. That I will forget something that might be the one thing that changes his mind and brings him back to me. Realistically I know that’s not possible. Realistically I know that I don’t have that power over people, and the only reason they have that power over me is because I let them. So I’m sending all my hope and faith out into the universe and to all the people who have written before me that good will come from this. That I will heal quickly, that we all will heal quickly, and we will be better for it. The little tears in our souls will be replaced with slight scars that will tell our story and remind us that we deserve the best.July 20, 2014 at 5:24 am #61288
@ Yohannes: Thank you for your sharing. I found the part of letting go and accepting the most difficult. I still have the false hope hiding at the back of my mind that maybe things will work out eventually, and I still struggle with it. I’m surely not healed yet, but I already started to see the positive sides of my breakup, and am trying to make it become a momentum for me to be the best version of myself, and to open up for love again 🙂
@ kromn08: I really wish that I can meet you in real life and give you a big hug! Whatever has to come, will come. Brace yourself, and believe that you will go through all this and be a more beautiful person 🙂 Many people have managed to do so. I also can relate to your story in many ways. I loved him very much and even though I can sense something wrong and things starting to collapse, I still had chosen to pretend that it was all alright. But thinking back, I can still remember the pain of pretense, when we laughed and be loving, but after that, I still saw tears coming out from my eyes non-stop. I’m not really sure how much it will take for me or for you to health completely, but I know time will do its job. I have read your story and even though I don’t know you in person, I believe you are a wonderful woman and will surely get the love you deserve 🙂 Let’s try together, and make this painful chapter become a nice experience that we can be proud of in our coming years. A big big hug for you!!!!! 😀July 20, 2014 at 7:10 am #61300
As I seem to cannot edit my first post, I posted a new one here instead 🙂 I want to keep this as a diary on my progress and to hear from people who are interested in the topic. Hope that can help some passerby too.
The after math and the pain: I do not want to whine too much about the pain after a breakup, as I’m more than sure that those who had deep and serious relationships ended how how hard it is. I cried myself to sleep so many nights that I could not remember, cried in the shower, even spend a few days just laying in bed and crying. The butterfly in the stomach of being in love turned to the gut wrenching pain of a broken soul. What’s worse than that, I’m approaching my nightmare of turning 30 and being considered as a hopeless leftover in my country’s culture. I had a cancelled engagement, broken future plans and non-stop flows of negative thinking…
Week 1-4: The worst weeks after a break up. Also the weeks that I committed many of the “DON’Ts” after breaking up: stalking on FB, desparately contacting in as many ways as possible, trying to find a way to get him back…. But the funny thing is, if I get to choose to undo and re-act things at that time, I will still do the same. I learned that it’s just natural to do so. They are even necessary steps for you to reach further post-breakup phases. Some DOs that I found helpful in my case during this time:
DO cry as much as you want. Tears exist for a reason. It will help lessen your pain, and it’s not your job to always be the strong one.
DO confide in your loved ones and close friends. They might scold you, but they love you no matter what. They will help you see that there are my others worthing your love instead of someone who chose to leave you.
DO spoil yourself for sometime, let your mind run free with What If, Why, or replay the time you had with your ex. It’s just natural to do so, and soon, your mind and body will get tired of the pain those memories bring and switch to something else. It’s also highly impossible to force your mind into NOT thinking about your ex, so let it be. It will stop for sure.
DO clear things out with your ex if you stil have questions unanswered. It’s a legit reason to contact them. It’s better to clear once and for all, than to let those unanswered questions keep you back from healing, or worse, give you reasons to reach out to your ex here and there.July 21, 2014 at 9:34 am #61396MichaelParticipant
I’m glad to see you have begun your recovery. You mentioned the first four weeks were the worst, but I find as time goes on it actually gets harder for me-I have to accept the finality of the situation. As time goes by I have to allow myself to think that many of her reasons might not have been entirely accurate-she simply said her feelings had changed, which is true, but she also said she had to find out what she wanted and who she was…this after three years together. The trouble I have is I of course checked her FB status and she seems very happy, and no hint of sorrow or remorse. Clearly it was the right move for her, she is happy which she said she never was with me. This is not my first heartbreak or serious relationship by any means, rather most probably my last. I have given her everything I had to offer, and it was not enough. I have no desire to get “better”, I am just numb. I don’t want to be bitter, I want her to be happy, I just wish she could have told me she was so unhappy during the three years prior-not after we were looking at engagement ringsJuly 21, 2014 at 11:45 am #61415SusanParticipant
As I read these posts I find so many similarities with my own story. I love my wife, more than anything or anyone I have ever known, and here I am, living without her. As Michael stated, it seems to be getting worse because the finality is sinking in. I live in an endless loop of denial, hope and then devastation. I miss her, my heart is broken, I want to make things better and don’t know how. I cannot imagine surrendering, even if I know that is the best thing to do, it seems so impossible. How do you do it?July 22, 2014 at 7:01 am #61473
@Michael: You are not the one struggling with it. I know it might be not 100% correct to say that the first weeks are the worst, and to me, the first weeks acted like a knife stabbing into my heart, the later weeks (even the current weeks) feel like the lasting aching pain it left. I know it’s hard, and I myself spent months clinging to the hope of getting back. But in every relationships, it takes 2 to work it out. If it’s just you doing the work, it’s not fair for you and for your love too. I know you must have been a great lover in the relationship, as you gave her everything you had. However, sad but true, doing your best doesn’t guarantee that you will get the same back. Things which some cherish and appreciate mean nothing to others, and it’s such a waste of love to be spent on someone who doesn’t care or want it. The love will always stay with you, but direct it into loving yourself first after this breakup. And then, from there, you will find someone who truly cherish your great love and give you back the love you want. I understand your pain, as I’m going through it right now. Many bad days and only very few good days, but I realize and believe that, the only way to go through this and possible future breakups (gosh, I don’t want those though :D) is learning to love yourself more, be a person who is happy no matter what with or without a partner. I’m trying it right now, by making a list of stuffs I want to, or at least want to try doing. Make your life busy and create new interests, try something new. I found it really effective, even though at the end of the days, after all, I felt empty, but that emptiness will lessen, I promise. About Facebook stalking your ex, I suggest you STOP IT RIGHT NOW. It will only drag you down. I know it because I did the same thing. I cut it off for 3 weeks, felt great, and checked his FB and went back to depression (even though he did almost nothing on FB). You have to remember, what she’s doing right now is NONE of your concern. She’s living her life, and you have no control over it anymore as you guys broke up. Trust me, just block her or unfollow her if you can. Life now is about YOU, not HER. Focusing on yourself instead and what you will do from now! Reading books, watching movies.. just try to do everything that you think might help regain yourself. For example, writing on this thread on Tiny Buddha really helped too 🙂July 22, 2014 at 7:19 am #61475
@ Susan: Dear Susan, please know that you are not alone in your pain. Everyone posting on this thread experienced/experiencing the same thing. I know how dark it feels. For me, I missed him like crazy, all the plans of marriage, even naming our kids, all, have gone to pieces. The scariest thing have come to me, living or leading my future life with ruined plans, and even worse, without him by my side. I don’t know much about your story and how long your break up happened, but if you think you still did not try all things, then try it all. Some people say that when your lover wants to end a relationship, the best thing is to let that person go as trying is useless and will only make you feel bad later. But I don’t think so. Just try everything, and after all, if it doesn’t work, then at least you have nothing to regret about it. It’s also the slap of reality that we need to pick ourselves up and give up on false hope. I personally think that we as human are living lives in different lines, it’s great that our lines and our exes’ crossed at some point, but once that crossing passes, we have to move on with our lines. When the pain is still fresh, I thought to myself that okay, he has already moved on, so if I ever want us to get back together, I has to move on too. He’s no longer standing at the crossing point, and if I keep lingering there, I will achieve nothing but sadness. Say to yourself that you have to move on, and maybe, who knows, at some points in the future, your paths will cross again. For now, even though the false hope of getting back is still there, I felt better by doing some things:
1) No contact. Remove the person from your life, as much as possible
2) Keep myself busy so I don’t have time to think unnecessary things
3) Make plans without my ex in it, such as attending a class, joining some clubs and associations, making more friends, travelling
4) Make a list of healing activities and do it one by one (I’m still researching about it and will post it here when I’m done with my list)
5) Share your pain. Like here, in Tiny Buddha. It helped a great load knowing that there are many others suffering from the same pain
The last few words, I know how impossibly hard it is to surrender, but you do not have to do it abruptly, it doesn’t work like an On/Off switch. Just do not think about it right now and do things instead to distract yourself from it. Let me know if it helps. If it doesn’t, we can look onto other things to try! 😀July 22, 2014 at 7:27 pm #61523
To all those who have posted their stories, let me ask y’all a question. Though I have been comforting other people on this site, I still feel confused about the situation I was in. I have told my story briefly above and my ex was one of those guys who would leave me without giving me any explanation and later come back to me after a few months. This has happened several time over the last 8 years and I have lost count. He would give me reasons like my parents don’t like you, my sister thinks you are not beautiful enough to marry me, I don’t deserve you, I am ruining my parents health because of you and this relationship, I made a mistake by loving a person like you, I flunked in school because of you etc etc etc. But almost 9 months ago on my birthday he apologized to me for being an a*****e and said all nice things to me and told me that he will make things right and talk to his parents about me. I have been forgiving him and accepting him everytime he came back to me without questioning him why he left me. But when he talked to his parents, they easily agreed and his dad told me that if he had said this sooner, we probably would be married earlier. So, that made me realize that he was lying to me the whole time and telling me all sorts of bullshit stories. At that point, I was confused as to whether I want to marry him or not because he was lying to me, had never been nice to me and he would say good things about me once in blue moon. So, I asked him to give me some time and he refused. He instead called his dad, put him on conference call, made a big mess out of it everyday and would send me texts like “if you don’t reply then I will marry some other girl”, “i will marry a girl better than you in all aspects” etc etc. I was PISSED off big time coz I waited for this jerk believing all his stories for eight years, helped him pay his loans off, stood by him at all times and he told me all these things coz I asked him for some time to think if I wanted to do this. I did not respond to any of his texts because I was really upset with the way he created a mess out of everything. I had reached a point where I couldn’t take it anymore. He had abused me emotionally for a long time and I had lost myself completely. I felt like he will never treat me right and never respect me or my parents. I wanted to say a lot of things to him but I just cut it off without saying anything. He constantly apologized after I told him that he doesn’t deserve me but I was afraid to give him another chance as I felt he will break my heart again with his harsh words and demeanor. He is so full of himself and his family. The worst part is he knows that his behavior towards me is not right. He accepts that he is rude, short tempered, doesn’t support me emotionally but still continues to do it and expects me to bear with it forever. I had told him many times that he should let go of his anger and treat me right but he never did. I told my parents about this guy almost four years back and when they were willing to meet him he backed off. I went to my home country twice just because he said he will meet my parents and he did not, instead he told me to go back to US. He has broken my heart beyond repair a million times and I don’t have the strength or the courage to let him break it again. Honestly, I don’t know what the truth is. If his parents had issues with me from the beginning or not, if his sister said all those words or not and if he ever loved me truly or not. But lately, I have been getting nightmares about this guy and even though he is not in my life, my life is still miserable dreaming about him most nights. May be he was serious about me and wanted to mend his mistakes, I don’t know. All that I wanted was sometime. But exactly 2.5 months later he sent me a text saying that he is marrying another girl and again I don’t know if its true or not. Inspite of all this he makes me feel guilty and blames me for breaking up. I just felt that he won’t be there for me, he doesn’t love me, there was a gut feeling within me which said don’t do it. I was feeling so uncomfortable because he was so demanding. I was scared that if this is his behavior now then he will continue to behave this way or even worse once we are married. I had tolerated all this nonsense for so long that I broke down one day and was just rude to him, scolded him left and right and said he doesn’t deserve me and then never looked back since then, never tried to contact him in anyway. What do y’all think? Did I do anything wrong by cutting him off like that?July 24, 2014 at 11:32 pm #61713KristopherParticipant
Hell no! If he really meet someone and after only 2.5 months is marrying her, I feel sorry for her and no doubt she’ll be on here when there break up occurs. You did the right thing. You have to move on and find someone that appreciates you for you and isn’t gonna play games. Love isn’t a one way street, everything can’t be one persons fault.July 25, 2014 at 8:33 pm #61776
@dreamer: Please, DO NOT waste any more of your time on your ex. I really liked your first post, and I think you should stick to it. This guy really is not worth your time. I really feel sorry for his future wife or any women involving with him. Through what you wrote just now and earlier, he surely does not know how to love, or he only loves himself. Your past relationship obviously lacked respect, one of the core factors. You yourself felt that it was totally wrong, but I know, we women always tend to brusk more pinkness into the relationship and convince ourselves with false logics just to bend our decision into what we want. But seriously, close the chapter with your ex. Maybe he will change, maybe he will never do, and it’s not your responsibility to wait or to make him happy. Heck, I don’t think he will ever change or be able to realize what he missed. You’re a wonderful person, so find someone more worthy to give your precious love to 🙂August 12, 2014 at 5:56 pm #63232
@ Kristopher and Arient
Thank you very much for your words. There’s been another twist in the story now. He emailed me last week and apologized and poured in all kinds of words. But for some reason I never felt like responding to his email or talk to him. I felt that he is trying to gain sympathy. He told me that he is having a surgery (supposedly heart surgery) and he has realized all his mistakes from the past and sincerely wanted to apologize and he asked me to forgive him if possible. I have decided not to go back to him no matter what because I am having a hard time trusting this guy. Even now, I don’t know if that surgery is true or if he is just bluffing to get me back. How do I get him to stop emailing me and texting me? I haven’t text him in almost 7 months now and he still keeps on texting me. I don’t want this nightmare to sabotage my future. Any suggestions??