Thanks Jessica.

Thanks Peace57 @peace57

This is a very interesting question and something, which I am sure most of us struggle with. I will share my perspective as I deal with people left, right and centre. Everyone has a story and their own take on things and own reasons to be the way they are.

When I hear something, which doesn’t agree with me, I pause and take a deep breathe in. Why did this thing not agree with me ? Is it because it touched me at an emotional level or it is just not practical ? If it is not practical, I start with loads of questions to the other person to figure their thinking out. By the end of the conversation, it is often clear if this was an opinion or a fact. If it is an opinion then everyone is entitled to one. If it is a fact, lets go with it 🙂 Either way, it is a win-win solution, yeah ?

When I realise that I am having an emotional response, then I shut up as anything I say is not going to make sense. Once I calm down and can see another perspective without getting carried away, I come back in and give my 2 cents worth in a confident manner.

Always remember, no matter how thin a slice you cut of a bread, there is always going to be 2 sides. Conflicts and resentment occur when we are not able to see the other side, thinking that only my side is correct. There is so much anger in the world today because of same – I am correct and you are wrong. So we have to take a back seat and figure out, Can the other person be right too and Can I be wrong too ? Then put forward your argument and I doubt you will have issues.

If you have resentment towards someone, learn to let go of it. Creating hurt for yourselves doesn’t harm anyone else but just you. Forgive yourself and this person and try to create a happier relationship. You wont regret it. It may take time but it can be done the moment you realise that the only person suffering in this resentment (or negative roller coaster ride) is YOU.

Our Karmas or thoughts do not bring ill or happiness to others. Our Karmas bring ill / happiness only to US. We can curse someone left, right and centre and it wont affect them until they choose to soak in our negativity. If they choose to soak in our negativity, they are now doing a Karma on their own. See what I mean ?

I am a work in progress. Each day is getting better as I become more assertive in my communication skills. The more accepting I become of others, less resistance I face from others. Everyone wants to be heard. Hear them out BUT also have the courage to let them hear you too when it is necessary. You can not just say nothing in most situations as you cant be having an emotional response all the time.

Introspection or reflection (as part or meditation or without) at the end of the day is a good tool for cultivating such skills in real time 🙂

Best wishes and I look forward to hearing other people’s perspective on this thread.

Jasmine