Hi Richele,

Yes, I agree, it might be a fear of failure. But then what is underlying that fear? I believe it’s the desire to be perceived as something or someone by other people. It’s a self-image that were desperately trying to preserve. If you succeed, that image is maintained. If you fail or fail to meet others expectations about your success, that image is shattered. The ego will fight at cost to preserve it self including avoiding any potential criticism or judgement.

Similarly, are you afraid of your own judge within? What standards are you setting for yourself and are you afraid that you may not live up to them? If everything fell apart and people around still supported you unconditionally, would you hate yourself for failing? In the past have you failed only to have your inner critic lash out at you and make you feel bad about yourself? That judging voice inside our heads can be very powerful in limiting our actions and moving forward with change.

In either case, I empathize because I believe a suffer from both – fear of external judgements and fear of my own inner critic. It can be debilitating and prevent you from living your life to its fullest potential. A book that I’m going to be re-reading is entitled “A Soul without Shame”. I started reading it awhile back and it really opened up my consciousness to the negativity I’m inflict upon myself despite how supportive everyone is around me. Time and time again, if life has taught me anything, it’s that you are your own worst enemy.

I hope you find the peace you so rightly deserve.

Namaste