The first step is dealing with your self confidence issues. The problem is not facebook or any other application. As K Schmidt pointed out not wanting your new wife to be on FB is a way of trying to control a situation that you feel out of control in. The real problem here is that you have attached your self worth to the behaviors of others. A good therapist should be able to help you reframe your perceptions and work on your own self worth and value so that regardless of how others behave or what computer applications they use, you can function without the feeling of panic that you are somehow going to be hurt or embarrassed.