Hi faber castell,

Sadly, men (even gay men) are culturally trained on the Back-Handed Compliment. They truly want to say they’re interested in you or like you, but they can’t just SAY it! And most of us are not in the cookie-cutter ideal of “beauty”. So they don’t want us to think we’re all that. So they say we’re “a little ugly”, “there are prettier girls” etc. When they are the judge, they put themselves on a higher level.

There are no/only a few gentlemen left. They want to be charming and have us like them. But they don’t know how. But I’ll tell you one thing! The guy that doesn’t necessarily say you’re beautiful ~ BUT!! After you spend time with him makes you feel like the most beautiful woman in the world. THAT is what it is all for! When a woman is loved, she becomes beautiful. It radiates from within.

You can say to these guys: “Don’t fall in love with me.” “Where I come from this is actually considered beautiful.” “I have a boyfriend”. “Should you be calling someone ugly when you’re so, um, short/bald/a nebbish??” “Are you OK??” Laugh at him. Call your girlfriends/text them/take his photo while saying “Hashtag Nice Try!”

• This reply was modified 9 years, 8 months ago by Inky.