hi @Sann,

It’s really great to hear that you have already attended Vipassana courses, and you really seem to like it. It means that you are already one step closer to the solution of your problems. Only thing is that one has to keep on practising it daily for two hours. It’s just like giving daily dose of medicine to our mind. In everyday normally we meet variety of people, and by interacting with them we create both positive and negative thoughts. But if we do Vipassana daily then we automatically develope some kind of resistance to these negative thoughts. And this resistance power to negative thoughts increases as we become more and more mature in Vipassana.

If you haven’t practised Vipassana at home since long time, then I will advice you to go for one more 10-day course again and after that start practising at home regularly twice a day. Because, if one will start doing Vipassana after a long gap at home, then there is high probabilty that one might be flooded with all sorts of thoughts and for some people it may be very troublesome. Therefore, after a long gap, I think it’s necessary to charge our batteries by attending one 10-day Vipassana course, after that we should continue our practice at home atleast for 3-4 months regularly to see the observable changes to our mind.

And Yes , There is one more thing which is often neglected by beginner meditators and that thing is ‘motivation’. One also needs some motivation periodically to do meditation regularly. For that you can read books or have talk with fellow meditators in your locality. Here is a link to one book on Vipassna – “http://store.pariyatti.org/Karma-and-Chaos–PDF-eBook_p_2565.html”. At “http://www.pariyatti.org/” you can find mutiple resources that can boost your confidence in Vipassana. There is also one blog – “http://livingvipassana.com/”, where meditators share their experiences about Vipassana regularly, and it also helps fellow meditators in maintaining continuity of practice in Vipassana.

I hope this will help you in restarting practice of Vipssana.
I know you are going to get out of your problems very soon.
My Best Wishes To You!!