Thanks Will yeah Matt had some very insightful words & interesting perspectives. A lot of which resonated with me & made me see some things differently. I saw it differently but was still mad. However since then I’ve came a long way. I have even referred back to Matts posts at times when I needed to maintain some healing power.

I’ve no other way to frame it. People DID do something to me. The things that happened are facts & these facts hurt me. I am doing well in life & will be doing even better soon when I find a new job. I just lose focus sometimes & my attention falls back to the wrongs committed against me. I have also slacked off from doing EFT & meditation for about a month now (due to my apartment getting renovated & other stuff) & I have always found that if I don’t maintain mediation, I fall back into anger in due course. So, I’ve literally just started it again an hour ago.

Hey Martina. A lot of her actions WERE directed at hurting me – she screwed around pregnant to spite me. Once, when she was pregnant, I saw her in town sitting in a car with an ex boyfriend, I tried to talk to her & she gave me the finger as they drove off.

I have often attempted to see things from her perspective – after my kid was born I didn’t see him much for 18 months, so what did I miss? I missed sleepless nights, dirty nappies, feeds, crying, stress etc. I’ve tried showing compassion to these facts however the compassion always got overwritten by the level of betrayal in the bigger picture such as the entire list of stuff in my initial post.

The new boyfriends etc all having spent time with & even met my boy long before I did, me being last to meet him, the christening, sex whilst pregnant, another man seeing my child into the world, is stuff that can’t be undone. Some of it may seem insignificant to some, but they’re massively important to me. As well as everything else on that list.

Thanks but, I don’t care much for the peace of any of the men involved. I wouldn’t care if anything happened to them.

I know I can’t change what’s happened, so I guess I’ll once again try to focus on the future.