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Dear Claudia:
I am sorry you feel unloeable and not good enough. I lived five decades feeling this way. It is a painful way to go through life. I finally- at 48- met the man who loved me and it took me a few years to get it that he loves me and I finally am relaxing into the comfort and security of a mutually loving relationship.
I came out of a childhood lacking love, having been unloved and abused. It took me a long, long time and great psychotherapy starting at 51, a few years of healing and more to come. I hope you find love sooner than i had. I hope you have psychotherapy if you need it sooner than i did.
If you didn’t learn that you are loveable in your childhood; if you came out damaged from your childhood- you will need help to believe that you are loveable. It is not a belief you can reach yourself, alone. You will need a new safe, trustworthy, intimate relationship with another person so to believe that you are loveable. It may done through a professional relationship with a good psychotherapist and/ or a relationship with a mature, trustworthy other person.
I hope you find your way:
anita