Hi there,

I read this thread and everyone raises very vlaid points – I’m in somewhat of a similar situation (even though the guy is not married or has kids) so I can’t offer advice to Anyone right now. However I did want to point out that although Julia, you or someone close to you might have felt that pain you described, and that would make your feedback completely understandable.

But, I think it’s unfair to put that weight on Anyone’s shoulders. When it comes down to it, it is the man who made promises to his wife, and I believe he has the responsibility to not hurt her. I think Anyone is actually being very considerate in thiking about the consequences of her actions – to herself and others. This is her decision to make, but I strongly do not believe that she should be called selfish – the only one who is being selfish, in my opinion is the man. When two people get married they promise their lives to each other, they do not however bind everyone else around them to stay away from either member of the couple. It is the couple’s responsibility to stick to their promises.

Again, I am not advising for or against either outcome, I just believe that Anyone deserves support rather than judgement. I hope this doesn’t upset anyone as that was not the intention.