Dear Anita,

Thank you for your reply, it’s often interesting to read your views on things.
I have to let it soak in a bit what you said. I think you are right, she doesn’t do assertiveness.

Yes i feel it’s harsh to do it the way you write it, but i have already seen a lot of times, that it doesn’t work to try to open a conversation with her and talk like 2 adult people on how to arrange things.
I have tried to ‘bark’ at her, at least, to say her things and try to make it sound short and more curtly, i don’t know to which extent i managed. And in the beginning she reacted anxious and would run to do whatever she forgot. Now she just tells me that it’s not true or that it isn’t a problem. She feels so at ease there now and she knows that she can mess around with me.
Maybe i’ll try to bark harder but it is really not my way of doing things, it feels so wrong.

Often i even act very sociable to her, laughing and making jokes. That seems to be something that i do when i’m afraid of people, i seem to pretend that we are friends or something, but it is so tiring. It might be better to go back to being short and quiet with her, more the way that i feel towards her. She knows more of my personal life than the others, it’s a very silly way of me to try to feel safe around ‘unsafe’ people.

I just can’t wait for the end of the busy season and hoping that she won’t work there anymore. But that’s not the best way, cause i want to see what i can learn from this situation.