Thank you Anita. Yes it is nice that other relationships are win-win, thanks to that place i am learning more about myself, i am learning to see that i am very nice and helpful (haha, i’d never imagined saying that about myself so easily 🙂 ) and it is nice to be able to share that with people, instead of feeling that i am stupid because of it.
But that woman is perhaps also doing me a favor, because i need to learn that i can not be like that to everybody, to some people i do need to keep my defences and set boundaries. I think i have let it come way to far with her in these 3 months, and i think she knows way too well that she can treat me in any way she wants.
The past week, every day that we worked together (which is 3 days per week, but that’s more than enough), she ran off way before we wore finished. I didn’t say anything, i didn’t ask her to stay. Yesterday it was the same, she came to throw something there that she had used and that i needed, and she said ‘see you next week’, i answered her ‘whatever’, as i was getting quite annoyed with the way she leaves and the way she does it. She even started to give out to me and to yell at me that i shouldn’t have said ‘whatever’, that all i had to say is bye. So i said bye and kept going with my work. Perhaps ‘whatever’ wasn’t the nicest thing to say, but i don’t think it’s that unreasonable, considering the way she leaves me with the rest of the work (not a big problem, cause i’m paid for it, but she doesn’t do it in a nice way).
So i’m just hoping that she’ll be let off in a few weeks, when it gets quieter. I’m just exhausted and don’t manage to let it go, now on my day off it’s still bothering me the whole time.

@Jack, thank you for your reply and advice. It is very helpful to me.
Yes i guess that is what we need to do. I am usually so anxious and nervous that i don’t even manage to choose a persona, that i usually talk in a very shy and anxious way, which already tells loads about me. I will have to put work into practising taking on a more confident kind of attitude, especially in the beginning. Being quiet, making small conversation, and observing more, not trying to please and to make a good impression. But focussing more on what impression they make on me. And focussing on not helping everybody out in the beginning but taking my own space.
And i have to learn to be more aware to which contact with which people are actually good and which not. Because now i always mess that up completely. I’m often too shy to talk to people who are nice and build up a contact with them, and people who i’m afraid of (like that woman), i will talk with a lot and trying to please them, to pretend that all is well.
Oh that all sounds so nice and easy to write it down… ha ha.. Perhaps i’ll get there in the end.

May i ask you, did it take you long to learn that? Was it a long time of trying and error, or how did you go about it?
I know that might be a kind of question that is difficult to answer, but perhaps you have some advice on how you changed that.