I have spent a lot of time over the last few days thinking about what I ‘want’, and what is ‘right’.

My wife and I were intimate together for the first time last night, while it was fine, good even, I felt it hard to feel ‘connected’ to her – and I feel guilty about that as she now seems happier.

I am wondering whether I am better by myself, I am starting to ‘want’ to spend time looking at myself, I am feeling an incredible draw to being solitary, my feelings for my ex-workmate are still there, but do not seem as important now, not now that I am faced with this longing to be by myself and to try to ‘perfect’ myself.

I am thinking of speaking with my wife within the month and talking to her about going our separate ways.