Max,

I’d like to apologize to you, as my previous words were not intended to hurt you – but after re-reading my previous post, I can see that I should have been more thoughtful in my reply. I am truly sorry if I hurt or offended you Max.

A few days after my boyfriend had ended our relationship, I ended up calling and messaging him a few times too, even begging him (don’t ever do this) to give our relationship another chance. He was very firm in telling me that he didn’t think getting back together now was a good idea…because he knew that I was not in a healthy place. I clearly remember him telling me that he wanted me to get well – words that are permanently etched into my brain…because you know what, he’s right. I am not well…and I am in no position to make any decisions concerning our relationship right now. When we were still dating, I kept him in limbo too, which wasn’t healthy, and it definitely wasn’t fair to him. There were weeks where everything would be great…when I was with him, it felt like the sun was shining down on me…I was happy…and then I would start thinking and thinking and thinking…and these thoughts would creep into my head like a poison, and it paralyzed me. I was scared. I didn’t know what to do. All of the confusion and indecisiveness that I had led me to become distant with him and I pushed him away…repeatedly. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the way that he treated me. He was great. He was very patient and very understanding of my situation. But there was always this nagging feeling in the back of my head that questioned whether he was being sincere…questioned whether he would up and leave me one day in the future if he discovered something about me that he didn’t find satisfactory…questioned whether or not we could really have a future together. My ex husband, whom I was married to for 14 years, repeatedly cheated on me. I would leave, and then he’d pop back into my life asking me to come back…and like a fool, I always did. I felt that he was the best that I’d ever get…that I could do no better…that he was what I deserved – which I know now isn’t true. Having this in my past, as well as having issues with my self-esteem and confidence…these issues have weaseled their way into my current relationships, and it doesn’t do any good. Why? Because I have to fix myself first, before I can even think about being in a relationship right now. The issues that I have with myself is what caused me to continually “flip flop” my emotions with my boyfriend, and it got to the point where he just couldn’t risk staying with me anymore…and I don’t blame him in the slightest for leaving.

I don’t know your ex, but from what I read, I feel like she needs time for herself – with no interference from anyone. If she’s having second thoughts about the current relationship she in in with her ex right now – and clearly she is if she’s re-reading old Facebook conversations that she’s had with you and “accidentally” messaging you in the middle of the night…something isn’t right. She isn’t confident in the decisions she’s making, when she should be…especially when it involves another person’s heart. There’s a good chance that even if she were to up and leave her ex right now and come running back to you, she will still have the same thoughts…questioning whether or not she made the right choice…and you’ll be right back to square one. It’s unfortunate that she’s back in a relationship with her ex, because I can only imagine the things she is putting him through right now – again, not fair and definitely not healthy.

Sorry for the long reply, just wanted to give you a little insight as to what it’s like on the other side of the relationship.

Until next time…

– Jenny