Hi !I am Cheaw. I’m here to tell you that you are not alone I had been there before. When my mom passed away when I was twelve and my dad left the family when I was thirteen, I was torn apart. My heart was broken and I was too young to handle all the pain that was such overwhelming.

The year after my mom passed away, my secondary school years started .
Due to my issues, I was always so moody and unhappy that all my classmates were so sick of me, that they were reluctant to see my face and even to hang out with me . As my dad left us, the situation became worse. As I couldn’t blend in with the people in my school the bully started. They banned me and isolatede in group projects. They neglected me and didn’t let me take part in most of the group activities in school.

They began to make silly jokes about me. It was still a situation I could handle but day by day their jokes went bolder and bolder until it was unbearable for me. I was a conservative and introverted person. I couldn’t bear when the guys in the class had made explicit jokes about me filled with sexual contents!They let me heard what they said in order to provoke me and felt so much fun by doing it. They even started to make fun of me about the way I looked and how much I weighed. No one would ever talk to me in school because it would be a humiliation to talk to me.

they definitely had ruined my self esteem. I felt too hysterical and started to skip my school frequently and the consequence was that my academic performance went straight to the bottom… it made me even more embarrassed because I used to be a straight aces student. Every time I go to school anxiety conquered me, it was so intense that I felt like I was suffocating. My heart would start pounding so fast and my mind rushing in light speed. it was so excruciating. The school was a hell to me. It was so bad until my vice principal had came to my house to talk to my grandparents who were my guardians.

Finally I decided to shift to an all girls school. I successfully made a few decent and sincere friends and I know that from that day onwards I need to start a new life. I have to be strong.
As I grow up, I went through the process into becoming a new person who is stronger and better, I came across countless obstacles and also a lot of hard times when I had doubts upon myself . I learn my lesson day by day. Everyday I try to improve myself.

I don’t want to be an underdog anymore. I can do it! I tell myself that I’m better than who I assume myself to be because I am. No one can judge me, they aren’t god, they have no right to say what is wrong and what is wrong about me. Believe me, everyone has their own weaknesses, who are they to say that they are flawless and we are full of flaws? I live with this principle every day.

I improve myself everyday. when I’m down, I cry out loud but I stand up strong again after I had spilled out all my sadness and I’m a fresh person again. No one can ever beat me down. As I came to know lord I know how to love myself and the people around me even more.

I’m now 18. I’m a brand new me. I am not afraid to make friends and talk proudly in public anymore. I enjoy my social life . Remember, the people around are just as ordinary as you are, why do we have to think of ourselves as worthless and non worthy garbage? we are not and no one is. anyone can be who they want to be as long as you keep moving on and try to be better than who you are today compared to yesterday ! Keep your spirit up and strong! Gambateh and do live your life to the fullest filled with passion 😀