Per the lawyer, I am unable to “throw him out” as a squatter in the marital home. IF he doesnot pay the mortgage, it is on me since the mortgage and credit are listed on me only. . So, I can foreclose, not pay and lose my credit. Or he could leave. I come back and live til it is sold, sell the house and split the profits or whatever that takes months.. If he refuses to pay the mortgage, I cant pay an apartment and also the mortgage. His anger to hurt me could overcome his need for the profit of the house. Separation papers need to be initiated, and it will take about 2-3 months for agreement. So, I will be stuck outside the home, if he wont leave. I can go back home if he leaves, change the locks and feel some reasonable security that he cant get back in ( though the drive-bys and unexpected drop ins will be numerous) ….divorce takes time and over a year separation to go without fault. It doesn’t happen in a day or a week or a month for all the legalities. Just have to hope that after the initial shock, he will move to his own place. NO guarantee on that.

Courage is the key, but logistics is what I have to plan for. You are absolutely correct, there is no good time to wait to make the transition occur. He is weak and I handle all his affairs for years, so the dependency on me will be great. That appears to be the situation in black and white. I am becoming less fearful each day, but I cannot arbitrarily walk out the door and never look back, unless prepared to never come back and lose most of my belongings for a period of time.. It is like I am the man/breadwinner, and have this weak spouse that I have been enabling all these years.