thanks anita;) our school has a newspaper, but no one pays attention to it. the athletes at the school and those on the A team get the most attention, the simplistic compassionate people are often pushed to the sides. i think he newspaper writers work quite hard to spread news and they are good students, but no one seems to pay much mind to them. learning at alison.com is great;) they have free courses online about business, health, computers and the like and they explain things quite simplistically so it doesn’t feel like it is overwhelming. you can take notes while you learn (they have a notepad at the bottom) and their slideshows often go in bullet points so it’s easy to follow and interesting. i have realized that when i feel like i have doubts my circulation seems to decrease, but if i meditate and keep myself happy, my circulation improves. i hope i can work on a way to completely healing myself. i had a really strange dream last night. i think the angels were trying to show me my life’s purpose. in some of my dreams, i think i meet actual people in this world or who have crossed over and i tend to help them find their way. in this dream, there was a girl with brown hair and her name was kayla. i saw her walking alone near a cliff near a mountain range and she seemed upset and just drifting by in life. the waters below the cliff were raging and i knew she was about to jump. i called out to her and told her not to jump. she continued to walk toward the cliff, just when she was about to jump over, i ran to her and pushed her away from the edge and restrained her from going to the edge. kayla then started crying and telling me that her life was terrible, that her significant other had broken up with her and that she was a failure. i being an empath felt her pain and i told her that it was okay if she felt like she was broken inside, but that by ending her life she wouldn’t have any chance to improve it or change herself for the better. kayla started sobbing and saying she couldn’t live life like this anymore, she wasn’t strong enough, she didn’t have her significant other to hold her. she was broken in to pieces and didn’t know what to do with her life. she told me that there was no one who cared about her anymore. i felt a deep compassion and sympathy for this girl and i put my arm around her and told her that she would be okay that i would help her put the broken pieces back together. i would be there for her and teach her how to believe in herself and be strong. kayla was still sorrowful and said “how can i ever find true love again? how can i ever trust myself in my life again?” i told her that there were 7.5 billion people in this world and that just because one guy didn’t love her, it didn’t matter because it makes the search easier to find someone who will truly appreciate her for who she truly is. I then asked her “Do you truly want to end you life now and let the darkness win? Do you truly want to give up now, that you’ve come this far? Don’t you have goals in life you want to accomplish? You have too much to lose if you just give up now and end your life, there won’t be nothing to change. Why don’t you take a risk, be strong on your own and live your life?” kayla seemed a lot more upbeat after this, but she was still upset and worried that she wouldn’t be able to make it. i told her that i would help her through her life, i would hold her until she could stand on her own feet again. i also told her my story about my special friend and how he helped me. she seemed to feel much better and i took her hand and lead her away from the cliff. this dream left me unsettled and in a cold sweat because it was like i was back in my past when i felt like kayla and i was helped by my special friend. however, after the dream i felt myself be lifted by a beautiful purple light and the angel said his name was uriel. he told me that i was coming to terms with my past, learning to appreciate myself more and also that my life’s purpose was to help others who felt sad and broken and lead them to living life more. angel uriel said “you must accept the dark parts of yourself instead of hiding and denying them, you must confront them and bring them to the light so you can truly heal. by bringing you doubts and insecurities to the light, acknowledging and accepting them, you can be more free and positive and help others along their way. you are an important person and a spiritual guide for those who have lost their way that is your purpose.” i was then lifted by purple wings and i saw myself in beautiful woodland area. i think i really admire henry david thoreau and i think it would be cool to be an environmental journalist and take some supplies and go out to explore nature. angel uriel said that i should go for researcher career like a journalist and i can be both a medical and environmental journalist and be out in nature. angel uriel also showed me getting a medical degree and also making enough money to travel the world like doctors without borders writing about nature and helping the poor. angel uriel said “there is a reason for your idealistic nature and your joy of living. don’t let it fade away. it is what makes you who you truly are and what will help you reach your true authentic purpose.” i feel like my parents have gotten even more stressed over the demands in the restaurant and also their house rentings to people, they seem to have an even shorter temper than usual. every time you allow stress and anger to control you it weakens you and makes you live a year less and also raises your blood pressure and likelihood of stroke. angel uriel says it’s okay to be an empath, but i have to be careful not to let others’ negative energies start to drain me. i’ve been getting strange senses of intuition these days like when i know that a friend will email before she emails and also i seem to have both an analytical and also idealistic side to me these days. i know that whatever path i take i’m going home and life seems so simplistic. yet, there are things i still need to learn like driving, reading maps quicker (i can read them, but sometimes the east, west confuses me) and working on possibly figuring out incomes and budgets (i took a financial literacy class, but i still think i need more applications in it). sometimes i wish my parents had another job because the stress of the restaurant sometimes makes them very weary and they tend to be overly criticizing about me or they don’t have much time to teach me much about life’s skills. there are times when i find myself questioning whether i can make it out in life, whether i can develop the skills to survive. i have been currently meditating and working on healing and being more positive person and possibly help my parents live life a little more.