Thank you everyone for sharing your stories, insights, and articles. This has been a really good learning experience.

Something that Lester said really hit home for me, .”..I felt alone because I viewed everyone as different from myself…I realized that every time I meet a potential friend, I would find a reason why they couldn’t be.”

And, yesterday, as I was reading “Mindfulness in Plain English” by the Ven. Henepola Gunaratana, once again, I was faced with the same concept, “Don’t dwell upon contrasts: Differences do exist between people, but dwelling up on them is a dangerous process. Unless carefully handled, it leads directly to egotism. Ordinary human thinking is full of greed, jealousy, and pride.”

Along with the list of fears that I had listed earlier, I’ve also become very aware of how often I distance between myself and others through ongoing judgements and criticism of either inferiority or superiority. Just walking down the street or talking to people, there’s a constant flow of evaluation going, “He’s better looking than I am….I’m better looking than he is…She doesn’t sound very intelligent when she speaks…Wow, she sounds really smart…Why won’t he stop talking…How could he wear that…She’s hot…She’s not…” and on and on and on it goes constant judgement and criticism of everyone around me – not just friends, but perfect strangers on the street!

And of course, I recognize that voice is also judging and criticizing me and preventing me from being my authentic self and really connecting with people.

I really need to work on stopping these automatic reflexes of thought, which are usually so negative. My meditation instructors talk about approaching the mind like an unruly child – correct it’s actions, but be gentle, kind, and compassionate. But sometimes, I just want to slap it over my knee and giving it a good spanking. 😛

I know I shouldn’t dwell on the past, but I can’t begin count the number of relationships and connections that have been missed because of so much disdain and ego.