IOn paper my life looks pretty ok. My head tells a completely different story. I try very hard to live in the now…..Does’t happen often enough. Some days I wonder if I’ve been such a bad person to have ended up this lonely.I protect myself for fear of ejection. I have 2 grown up children and 6 grandchildren. I’m close to my family, but they don’t need me with them constantly. I feel guilty about my childrens pasts,although they tell me their fine and to live my life…….What life.. I feel I should be out there having a wonderful time. My friend died of Cancer last year,he wanted so much to live. Had plans for the future was full of life. Makes me feel awful because I don;t have that jest for life. Friends tell me I’ve built such an high fortress around myself no one can reach me…….. I’ve recently joined this site after another Sunday spent lo
looking for answers