Perhaps I am totally wrong or a bit confused. My emotions and expressions, methods of how I express myself are different from most people. I have always equated happiness to something temporary, it lasts for a short period of time and then it disappears. Much like a butterfly, rainbow or a giant soap bubble that floats so gracefully through the air only to pop before your eyes. Truly happiness is nice plateu or mountain to climb but eventually there is the descent back to level ground all over again. These moments of happiness can be life changing and very emotional. Without any shadow of doubt, being happy is a choice you make every single day of your life.

But for me, I want more than just happiness —

Because of the gaps and holes in my own life experience, healing has not always been easy. To be open and honest about it, sometimes I still struggle with it but I refuse to give up even after being knocked down so many times. Becoming aware of the pain and suffering of others all around it is not uncommon for me to want to do something good for others. I was never blessed with enough money to a be a benefactor but I did discover that I could be a vehicle or channel for goodness to travel through. With this life changing view of life I have a spring of joy. Now joy if allowed to pass can be given to others and its resource knows no end or depth of the well. Happiness very often results from circumstances that move in your favor but the spring of joy flows effortlessly.