Hi Carl,

Your words moved me. I’m not a doctor, but I know a lot of people who feel just like you. I know it feels lonely to feel like that, but you are not alone. Please do get a professional help and medical help, ask your parents to help you with finding help, or reach out to someone in your life.

Additional to professional help add this simple routine to your day…it’ll help you control your thoughts, anxiety and hopefully help you sleep:

Just take 5 minutes every morning. Sit, close your eyes, relax, focus on your breath and notice the thoughts that appear in your mind. Don’t judge your thoughts, just notice what comes up. Notice also how you feel in your heart and in your body. Any tensions, pain?

Focus only on breathing in and out, in and out for 2-5 minutes each day. Do it every day.

Also, when ever you feel anxiety and negative thoughts piling up during a day, just take a second and take 5 deep breaths. Just take all your focus on breathing.

The reason we feel stressed/anxious is because our thoughts wander in the past or future. We don’t know how to be fully in now.

I also want to tell you that those thoughts in your mind are not who we are. Those are just your thoughts. Notice your thoughts, but know that THE REAL YOU is behind those thoughts. The negative anxious thoughts are not you, they’re just your negative thoughts.

About finding yourself: I believe once you notice your thoughts, even write them down, then REAL you begins to appear. After, you’re able to sleep and function again.

Don’t be too hard on yourself, you’re not a failure, you’re just 19 years old…..that’s what 20’s are for….to figure out WHO YOU ARE! 🙂
Honestly, been there done that….I know how it feel to feel trapped and stuck, anxious and lost…..and not knowing how to get out.

E-mail me if you want me to help you with questions or the breathing exercise mindfuldiary@gmail.com.

I’ve written some posts about depression, finding yourself…..let me know if you’re interested.

You have a bright future in front of you. Every painful lesson we have is OUR lesson in life to improve/grow…it’s not fun to hear now, but you’ll see it later.

So, to sum up: reach out for professional help + do the breathing exercise.

hugs, Kristi