I Need Someone's Help

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    Well to start off, I suffer from bipolar disorder and agoraphobia. I hate how it makes me feel and I search for every possible opportunity to escape it whether it be with prescription drugs or avoiding the stimulus that causes the anxiety, depression, etc. Recently that has not been working very well for me. I find that I become anxious all the time for reasons I know are not suitable reasons to cause anxiety. I get depressed whenever I think of a past experience. I get angry when I think of how much of a failure I am. I have trouble sleeping at night. I get in bed at 10 or 11 and sleep at 3 in the morning. I have a small amount of friends who I do not see very often, I am either berated or ignored by my parents for not being as capable as the average 19 year old, I am failing out of college, I consistently missed work because of how awful I feel, and when I think of my future, I feel shame, depression, anxiety, sometimes even suicidal. I don’t see myself coping with these disorders and living a long healthy life or even living past the age of 25.

    My counselor says that I need to accept responsibility for any of my shortcomings, make a plan, and accept the fact that I am bipolar and that I have to do things differently if I want to function in this world. She also says that I need to find out who I am since I have little to no awareness of who I am and what my personality is and what my motivation for being alive is. What I want to ask from absolutely anyone is for any piece of advice or tip that can help me out.

    What needs to be done in my life to improve its quality? What do I need to do to make this anxiety, depression, and anger go away? How do one go about finding themselves? What is the purpose of my life or even life itself? Why can’t I succeed like everyone else? Why can’t I be like everyone else? Why am I inadequate? What am I doing wrong?

    Carlos Coto

    Hi Carl,

    I am a psychotherapist and and psychology professor in my country El Salvador. My two cents of help for you today would be to try and see your disorders as divided and not as a whole disorder. What I mean with this is that you need to treat your anxiety and panic/agoraphobia apart from your bipolar disorder. Keep taking your meds, if you are medicated. If you are not, I would definitely consider taking them, mostly for your bipolarity.

    I am an Anxiety therapist and I would suggest to look for anxiety therapists in your area, or university… You need to look for what is called an Exposure and Response Prevention Therapy. It is part of a Cognitive Behavioral Therapy approach to anxiety. Seek specialized help in anxiety, cause you need to get diagnosed properly in your anxiety disorder, and if it is left untreated, it gets worse with time.

    Good luck, and hope to have helped you.



    I am not a doctor. I stumbled upon this post however and your situation has ripped my heart out. Hopefully, you have followed the advice of Dr. Coto who responded to your post. He sounds like he knows how to help you.

    Please don’t hurt yourself. If venting at all helps you and you need someone to listen I’m your man. If you want to vent privately, I will listen to you anytime…send me an email to RandyHendrix123@gmail.com.

    I am quite certain you have more to offer than you realize. Please hang in there and get the meds you need and stay on them and I just know your life will brighten up soon. You might not see the value in your life right now for different reasons but I’ll bet there are people out there who really care about you and if not then I do and I don’t even know you.

    Peace and love to you my friend. Please let me know that you are all right



    I am sorry if I am disrespecting anyone here, I am new to the site and want help desperately with an issue, I don’t know where to start a thread? Please help me, again my apologies for invading your space here, just didn’t know where to start…


    Hi Carl,

    Your words moved me. I’m not a doctor, but I know a lot of people who feel just like you. I know it feels lonely to feel like that, but you are not alone. Please do get a professional help and medical help, ask your parents to help you with finding help, or reach out to someone in your life.

    Additional to professional help add this simple routine to your day…it’ll help you control your thoughts, anxiety and hopefully help you sleep:

    Just take 5 minutes every morning. Sit, close your eyes, relax, focus on your breath and notice the thoughts that appear in your mind. Don’t judge your thoughts, just notice what comes up. Notice also how you feel in your heart and in your body. Any tensions, pain?

    Focus only on breathing in and out, in and out for 2-5 minutes each day. Do it every day.

    Also, when ever you feel anxiety and negative thoughts piling up during a day, just take a second and take 5 deep breaths. Just take all your focus on breathing.

    The reason we feel stressed/anxious is because our thoughts wander in the past or future. We don’t know how to be fully in now.

    I also want to tell you that those thoughts in your mind are not who we are. Those are just your thoughts. Notice your thoughts, but know that THE REAL YOU is behind those thoughts. The negative anxious thoughts are not you, they’re just your negative thoughts.

    About finding yourself: I believe once you notice your thoughts, even write them down, then REAL you begins to appear. After, you’re able to sleep and function again.

    Don’t be too hard on yourself, you’re not a failure, you’re just 19 years old…..that’s what 20’s are for….to figure out WHO YOU ARE! 🙂
    Honestly, been there done that….I know how it feel to feel trapped and stuck, anxious and lost…..and not knowing how to get out.

    E-mail me if you want me to help you with questions or the breathing exercise mindfuldiary@gmail.com.

    I’ve written some posts about depression, finding yourself…..let me know if you’re interested.

    You have a bright future in front of you. Every painful lesson we have is OUR lesson in life to improve/grow…it’s not fun to hear now, but you’ll see it later.

    So, to sum up: reach out for professional help + do the breathing exercise.

    hugs, Kristi

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