Hi John.
I’m unable to cope with rejection.
I can remember from a very early age feeling like my world had ended when a friendship ended.
I’ve reached the age of 52 still feeling this way. The father of my 2 children walked out when my eldest son was 5years old. He’s now 33,
we never saw their dad again. I stayed in a very a abusive relationship for 10 years, even tho he kept leaving, he’d return after a few weeks.
Nowadays I try and avoid any situation where someone might say they don’t want to see me or need me. I feel my heart tightening in my chest.
I then build up an whole scenario of how I’m not part of their lives.
I’m living alone now because I’m so scared of letting anyone into my life, I try desperately hard not to ask anyone for anything, as a way of self protection.
I’m letting life past me by.I realize I’m doing all this self sabotage. to myself and allowing certain family members to treat me bad.
I would love to feel that I was in control of my own life but it doesn’t feel that way.
Looking back over my relationships I’ve always hooked up with people who have issues,,again making myself myself my own worst enemy.