Menu

Posts tagged with “self-trust”

Finding Peace When You Don’t Know What Comes Next

By

“Sometimes letting things go is an act of far greater power than defending or hanging on.” ~Eckhart Tolle

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been the kind of person who plans everything.

My calendar was color-coded, my to-do lists perfectly alphabetized, and I could tell you what I’d be doing six months from now almost down to the hour.

I thought control meant safety. If I could organize my world tightly enough, maybe nothing bad would happen.

For a long time, that illusion worked. I graduated near the top of my class, got a good job, and built …

How to Stop Judging Yourself and the Past Year Harshly

By

“The way you look at things is the most powerful force shaping your life.” ~John O’Donohue

As often happens at this time of year, I recently found myself lamenting how quickly time had passed. In this agitated headspace, the myriad of goals I did not accomplish and the numerous targets I did not reach sprang to the forefront of my mind.

Though unwelcome and unhelpful, these thoughts pushed their way into my internal dialogue, reinforcing themselves by collecting evidence of where I’d fallen short.

Viewing my past year through a critical lens cultivates a feeling of dislike for myself. It …

The Gift of Being Single (More Joy, Less Fear)

By

“The greatest thing in the world is to know how to belong to oneself.” ~Michel de Montaigne

Some people fear spiders. Some fear public speaking.

My biggest fear? That my plus-one will always be my own reflection.

More and more people are finding themselves in the single life—not because they joyfully signed up for it, but because they’ve quietly resigned themselves to it. Being alone forever is one of the worst things most people can imagine. And yet, nobody’s talking about it.

I have no interest in bashing men—I love them. And I’m not here to shame relationships—I’d still …

Letting Go of the Life You Were Told to Want

By

“To be yourself in a world that is constantly trying to make you something else is the greatest accomplishment.” ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Ever since I was about four years old, I knew I was different from the other kids. I was always on the outside looking in. As I approach middle age, I’ve never shaken that feeling—the knowing—of being different.

We live in a noisy world where we find whatever we seek. If we’re looking for validation that we don’t belong, that’s exactly what we’ll find.

While flawed, the standard ‘life blueprint’ hasn’t quite sailed off into …

How I Learned to Trust Myself One Small, Simple Step at a Time

By

“Sometimes, the hardest person to trust is ourselves. But when we do, everything changes.” ~Unknown

For a long time, I thought the key to changing my life was out there—somewhere.

I thought that if I just found the right program, the perfect plan, or the expert with all the answers, then I’d finally feel in control and like I was doing it “right.”

So, I chased every plan, bought the books, signed up for the courses, and followed all the steps.

And for a while, it felt good—safe, even. But deep down, I still didn’t trust myself. Because no matter …

Why Codependents Don’t Trust Themselves to Make Decisions and How to Start

By

“Slow, soulful living is all about coming back to your truth, the only guidance you’ll ever need. When you rush, you have the tendency to follow others. When you bring in mindfulness, you have the power to align with yourself.” ~Kris Franken

Codependency previously created a lot of pain and agony in my life. One of the ways it manifested was in my inability to trust myself. I would overthink decisions to death, fearful that I would choose the “wrong one” or upset someone if they didn’t agree or were disappointed by my choice.

I was terrified of “making a …

How to Stop Letting Other People’s Opinions Guide Your Life

By

“What other people think of me is none of my business.” ~Wayne Dyer

Do you feel it too?

That discomfort rising inside when someone imparts their clever wit on you. Not just any kind of wisdom, but the one that makes you feel small, in a here-you-go, punch-to-the-stomach kind of way.

A covert little criticism implying that you might not be doing something right or may have the wrong ideas.

Your first reaction is disbelief. Followed by denial. How can they be so rude to come out with such a comment? Why can’t they be more tactful or careful with …