Posts tagged with “wisdom”

How to Make Progress On the Goals You’re Tempted to Give Up On
“To create more positive results in your life, replace ‘if only’ with ‘next time’.” ~Celestine Chua
Most of us start each year with good intentions. We have a list of things we’re going to start or stop doing. The year feels fresh, and it’s time to be the person that we’ve always wanted to be.
At some point in the year the shine wears off and we start to go back to old patterns and behaviors. Some of us even write off the entire year if we’ve failed at our new years resolutions by the time we hit February, and …

When Too Much Stuff Gets in the Way of All the Good Stuff
“The secret of happiness, you see, is not found in seeking more, but in developing the capacity to enjoy less.” ~Socrates
When Hans and I relocated from Chicago to Ann Arbor, we wanted to live in a house with a big yard so we could plant flowers and get a dog.
There were two backstories feeding these wants. I grew up on a farm and we always had a dog or two. And having lived in Chicago three-flats for a decade, I was ready for some green grass.
There were other things on our wish list, including enough space (to …

Simple Steps to Live a More Authentic (and More Fulfilling) Life
“When one realizes one is asleep, at that moment one is already half-awake.” ~P.D. Ouspensky
Growing up, the only truth I believed existed was that of the religion in which I was raised. The truth? The world was ending soon. I left it all behind in my mid-teens.
Little did I know it would take me another twenty-odd years to figure out my own truth and worse, that knowing this truth would initially leave me feeling disappointed.
Once I became a mum, that’s all I was—mum.
The concept of knowing my own truth didn’t even enter my mind. I had …

Addicted to Helping: Why We Need to Stop Trying to Fix People
“Compassion is not a relationship between the healer and the wounded. It’s a relationship between equals.” ~Pema Chodron
After college, I was hustling hard to get a work visa so that I could stay in the US.
But then my mom got caught up in a political scandal, and without much reflection on how much this would alter my life’s plans, I dropped my dream of staying in America, drove 1,000 miles, and flew another 500 to be by her side.
Would she have crumbled without me there? My mama is a tough chick, so I highly doubt it.
But …

Accept and Value Yourself: 11 Ways to Embrace Who You Are
“You’re imperfect, and you’re wired for struggle, but you are worthy of love and belonging.” ~Brené Brown
I can’t remember exactly what it was my friend was trying to convince me I could do, but I had an argument to counter every bit of encouragement. There was no shortage to the ways I believed I wasn’t good enough.
She was trying to help me see myself the way she saw me—as someone smart, capable, and full of potential. I wasn’t buying it.
I’d been pretending for so long to be a better person than I really believed myself to …

How to Stop Sweating the Small Stuff and Let Go of Your Grudges
“Let today be the day you stop being haunted by the ghost of yesterday. Holding a grudge and harboring anger/resentment is poison to the soul.” ~Steve Maraboli
You are tired of it, aren’t you?
You find yourself arguing again. You feel anger rising up in you.
You realize there’s no use in trying to explain your position and decide to stop the conversation.
But the topic still buzzes in your head…
This used to define my marriage.
The first few years of my marriage were constant arguing. After each argument my mind would run over and over the things he …

How Releasing Expectations Takes the Pressure Off Relationships
“When you learn to accept instead of expect, you’ll have fewer disappointments.” ~Unknown
A few months back, I was having drinks with a friend from university for the first time in a while. I sat across from her, smiling and laughing, almost in awe that we were here—here, not as in at this particular restaurant patio, but here, as in, in this moment that felt so free and so light, unbound by who we used to be.
During our first couple years of university, we were best friends, always hanging out, living together, supporting each other, swapping secrets, and creating …

The Fascinating Reason We Fear Rejection and the Key to Acceptance
“Our job in this lifetime is not to shape ourselves into some ideal we ought to be, but to find out who we already are and become it.” ~Steven Pressfield
“We need to talk to you.”
I looked up from my book. The other thirteen girls in my class had assembled around me.
Part of me was annoyed that they interrupted Indiana Jones’s latest adventure. But another part couldn’t shake the feeling that I was facing the sixth grade execution squad. My heart began to beat faster, my shoulders tensed, and sickening fear spread through my body.
“We don’t like …