A battle with achievement

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This topic has 6 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 3 months ago by Eric Schmit.

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January 3, 2014 at 12:02 pm #48281
MadiePie
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I have been married for 6 years to an amazing man, the love of my life. I am mother of an 18 month old daughter, who I am deeply in love with. My life couldn’t be better! I think of all the things that I have and am grateful for, but the one thing that surpasses these thoughts are my struggles to know “what have I achieved?”, not just as a wife and a mother, but my own person. I have also felt that there is always ‘something’ missing in my life no matter what I have accomplished or have fought through. My mind is in constant battle with, ‘what have I achieved for myself?’ As many New Year’s resolutions, I never succumb to them (that’s not new). This battle with , ‘what have I achieved’ drives me nuts! I feel that I need to ‘prove’ something no matter if it’s work related (which I don’t like my job, but my work ethic keeps me going), family, and or friends.

No matter the day/time, happy, excited, overwhelmed, tired, ecstatic, in my thoughts, it’s always, ‘trying to prove something more to myself and/or others’ It’s tiring and I just want to be able to breathe without constant thoughts.
- This topic was modified 10 years, 3 months ago by MadiePie.
January 3, 2014 at 12:40 pm #48285

B.Bells
Participant

Hello Madie , I think it is natural to think that there is something more for us in life and that we are in fact missing out on something however illusive it may be. I chose not to have children and to walk away from my abusive marriage however sometimes I wonder should I just be married again like everyone else and be having kids. Usually I think these thoughts when I see a happy family and I am down . When I am being OK with myself I know I am taking the right path however sometimes it makes me wonder .
I try to stick to my principles and actively pursue my life goals which is to have a successful business and meaningful friendships with people (Travel would be nice to 🙂 ) A romantic partner would be nice but it is not a priority .
Your family is young so you have a lot of responsibility there but there are always side businesses and living your passions when time allows. I found mine so much later in life . So many people do . There is no one way to look at life , family or work . No one formula works for everyone . You feel uneasy but uneasiness is good (or restlessness) because it means you are actually searching : Soul Searching . Your answers will come in time . Enjoy the journey 🙂

January 3, 2014 at 1:58 pm #48294

MadiePie
Participant

Thank you B. Bells for your response. I do need to do more Soul Searching and enjoy this journey. I am not so great with time and always want things to happen so quickly.
I have to find my own path. Thank you!

January 3, 2014 at 2:10 pm #48296

Mark
Participant

MadiePie, I suspect you were raised with such expectations. It is hard to let go of our family-of-origin programming. It takes time, mindfulness and sometimes therapy or some other healing modality like Body Talk.

Insofar as dealing with your constant thoughts, then mediation is the practice to work with that.

Mark

January 4, 2014 at 10:43 am #48376

memm
Participant

This seems like a good thing to me. I don’t think there are any reasons not to be content with what you have while striving for something. It might seem a little contradictory at first, but I don’t think “content” means to curl up and decide you’ve done everything you could ever do.

If you’re happy all the more reason to keep doing more happy things and keep it up. =]

So go ahead and do try to “achieve” something, too many people don’t bother and end up living a boring life. 😉

Just don’t forget it’s about the journey.

January 4, 2014 at 12:17 pm #48378

B.Bells
Participant

Memm, I totally agree with you 🙂
This is not an illness to be fixed . This is normal and natural . Striving for more is not only good but healthy . Apathy is a far worse crime .
Would we have amazing pieces of art , architecture , scientific achievements , excellence in sports , literary works of art or great humanitarian efforts if we all just sat on our asses lol ???
We should encourage each other to strive for more and be brave enough ourselves to take those extra leaps of faith and put the petal to the metal .
I enjoy this post 🙂

January 5, 2014 at 2:23 pm #48427

Eric Schmit
Participant

Sounds like you want validation for some reason. What have you done in terms of finding out the cause of this persistent thought? What or who is driving this? yourself? or others expectations have of you? your parents ideals you’ve took on? Why do you feel you cant be happy with what you all ready have?
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