So, I really don’t know how to write this and post it out there for folks to read so I am just going to write on and see how it goes. About 2 years ago I met a girl. I had just lost my job and life had begun a downward spiral for me. We had dated for about 18 months and during this time it our relationship was up and down. Our first time was when I found messages from other guys she was flirting with about 6 months after we met. We discussed and I decided to give her a second chance. After this we continued back and forth but of course I never really trusted her again. My life continued to get worse as I was unable to find a good job some my self esteem grew worse and I was struggling with anxiety and stress. She was still there for me when she could be but obviously I felt like I was a weight to her on top of her having commitment issues as we did grow closer during this time. We confessed a lot of things to each other and found comfort when we were together and things were going right. About 6 months ago we ended the relationship as it was up and down so much and I wasn’t focusing on my life. A few months later I attempted suicide, not because of her but because I was about to lose my house and couldn’t support myself, my children, and was losing friends. She came back around after the attempt for about 2 more months and we started hanging out again. It got confusing again because we were spending so much time together again. We stopped hanging out again because of the confusion.

Today things are looking better for me, I am working again, I was able to save my house and I am starting to feel confident again. My problem is I miss this woman. I still write her emails now and telling her how things are going but she doesn’t respond ever. I understand that she was just maybe a part of my life for that season but the loss of someone I had gotten so close to during those dark days makes it very hard for me. She still hangs out with some of my old friends and that makes things harder. I try to avoid social media because it reminds me of the past and memories. I may just be rambling but I just had to get this out there and sometimes counseling just isn’t enough. Thanks for reading!