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anita.
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October 27, 2025 at 5:17 pm #451287
anitaParticipantHi Alessa:
Thank you for the support and encouragement ❤️
Today was- still is- a bit of a ☀️ and lots of clear sky. I am grateful for that!
* Dear Tee: I’ve been thinking about you today, hoping you are okay..?! Still 🤞
🫶 ❤️ Anita
October 28, 2025 at 2:22 am #451303
TeeParticipantDear Anita,
I’m still in the waiting phase because first the imaging has to be done, and only then the doctor’s appointment. So still waiting, trying to stay positive, but from time to time I do start worrying, then I stop and collect myself, and so… it’s a battle for the mind at this point 🙂
Wow, that was a powerful conversation that you had with your inner child the other day. ❤️ A lot of realizations, insights, letting go (or the beginning of it) and maturing, I’d say. I don’t know if maturing is a proper term, but it definitely feels like your inner child seeing things with new eyes, seeing your mother with new eyes, and not craving her love – or not craving her love so much – anymore.
You’re slowly beginning to understand and accept (and it seems not only on the rational level, but also at the inner child level) that she didn’t have the capacity to be a loving mother. It seems her mothering was all about meeting her own need to feel better about herself by abusing and denigrating you (and your sister).
She created a false image of you in her mind – a twisted image, as you called it – and she raised you as if that twisted image were true. And you believed it, like every child does:
We were F.O.C.U.S.E.D on the wrong person, our mind skewed, twisted by a twisted person.
In her twisted image, she was all good and you were all bad. She needed to see you as “bad” so that she could keep seeing herself as “good.” So that her fragile ego wouldn’t collapse.
Simply put, she needed to put you down, so that she would feel good about herself. Which is typical for narcissistic people: they need to see themselves superior to others, they need to feel better than others.
Come to think of it, it’s actually impossible to get validation from a narcissistic parent, because if they were to admit that we’re good enough, that we’re worthy, in their twisted mind it would diminish their own worth.
And that’s a tragedy of being raised by a narcissistic parent: you can never be good enough, because it would threaten their ego.
And it does make me sad (feeling a little somber this morning…). But once we realize it, we can stop looking for their love and approval – something they would never give us.
We are lovable and worthy, but we were born to parents who taught us that we’re not, who taught us that there’s something very wrong with us. And now we need to rejected that old programming and kind of build ourselves anew. Re-parent our inner child, so we can be the fullness of who we are.
Dear Anita, sorry for being brief (and a little somber – I guess that’s the product of my health anxiety at the moment). I’d like to respond in greater detail to some points in your posts, but got to go for now.
I hope you’re fine, taking good care of LGA and yourself! Talk to you later! ❤️ 🫶 ❤️
October 28, 2025 at 10:03 am #451312anitaParticipantDear Tee:
“I’m still in the waiting phase because first the imaging has to be done, and only then the doctor’s appointment. So still waiting, trying to stay positive, but from time to time I do start worrying, then I stop and collect myself, and so… it’s a battle for the mind at this point 🙂” (7+ hours ago)-
You are amazing, adding a smiley face- that’s a show of courage.
“Dear Anita, sorry for being brief (and a little somber – I guess that’s the product of my health anxiety at the moment). I’d like to respond in greater detail to some points in your posts, but got to go for now.”-
You shared before that you are into Christian Mysticism. I am looking at quotes from “The Little Book of Christian Mysticism”, looking for something that you may like at this time (you probably read them all, this is the first time looking into these quotes). Here’s one:
“The important thing is not to think much, but to love much; do, then, whatever most arouses you to love.” — Saint Teresa of Ávila.
I want to adopt this attitude, as in when I’m in pain, emotional or physical (or both), to not think much about it, but to focus my attention on loving.. loving myself, loving others.
Here’s another:
“Be at peace with your own soul, then heaven and earth will be at peace with you. Eagerly enter into the treasure house that is within you, and so you will see the things that are in heaven; for there is but one single entry to them both. The ladder that leads to the Kingdom is hidden within your soul.” — Saint Isaac the Syrian
The above is absolutely beautiful. I want to post it in future replies to members. (I see you in the above quotes as well as in others that I just read from this book).
Looking for quotes elsewhere:
“Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.” – Mary Anne Radmacher
“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.” – Dale Carnegie
“Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside of you that is greater than any obstacle.” – Christian D. Larson
“You can’t calm the storm, so stop trying. What you can do is calm yourself. The storm will pass.” – Timber Hawkeye
I think you’d really like this one: “The truth is we’re all a little bit broken. We must learn to love the broken pieces of ourselves – be gentle and empathetic with ourselves, and others.” – Karen Salmansohn
I’d like to reply to the rest of your post later. Thinking about you, Tee 🤞 🤞 🤞
🫶 ❤️ Anita
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