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AAnxious Mind

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  • July 2, 2018 at 7:54 pm #215213
    Dean
    Participant

    Going through each day thinking others have negative views about me because I honestly believe the same views about myself. Don’t feel comfortable in the way I Iook, therefore very often avoid an open smile or to engage in conversation because there’s lack of confidence. Wow, feels good to admit. Always kind-hearted with others, even those who despise & deceive me, and never do expect kindness in return. Oh and if it’s getting late and I witness the presence of a female, I cross the road in hopes that they feel safer. The state of anxiety sets in around more than a few people in public.. It happens throughout work, and the four bus journeys there and back. Jaw and cheeks tense, and head feels too light to hold still. I become very aware of surroundings, especially through my peripheral vision. And everything seems louder. It’s mentally exhausting. One bonus is that at least I’m never in the way of someone!

    July 3, 2018 at 1:21 pm #215267
    Peter
    Participant

    Imagine someone walking towards you suddenly cross the road. Would you feel safer and thank them for their kindness?

    I was very shy and fearful growing up and latter in life was shocked to learn that many in the community I grew up in felt that shyness as conceit. The story they told themselves about me was that I must think I was to good for them. I thought I was being kind and considerate they thought I was stuck up. (Maybe I was, as shyness can be a judgment that we don’t trust others)

    You are making the mistake of thinking you can know what others are thinking and that others can know what you are thinking. (heck we barley know and understand our own thoughts and motivations)

    The anxiety we feel is of our own making and all of it based on illusion. If you want to reduce your anxiety let go of the excessive concern you have of what you imagine others think of you – which is really the excessive concern you have about your self.  This concern isn’t about being nice and considerate of others its about you creating the illusion of safety for yourself. Which, based on the anxiety you feel you’re not experiencing anyway, its not working, let it go.

    July 4, 2018 at 5:46 am #215341
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Dean:

    “everything seems louder” when we are anxious. I can relate to this.

    You wrote that you are “always kind-hearted with others, even those who despise & deceive me, and never do expect kindness in return”-

    what I have learned in my healing process from severe anxiety is that it is not a good thing for me to be kind hearted with the people who did or do despise and deceive me. It is only when I ended all contact with the major person in my life who has despised and deceived me, that I started, over time, to see that not all people despise and deceive me and that I was not worthy of such treatment.

    What do you think about what I typed here for you?

    anita

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