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Advice Needed, please .

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  • January 2, 2018 at 1:24 pm #184731
    munro18
    Participant

    Hi Everyone,

    Thank you for taking the time to have a read and offer me any advice for  my current situation.

    Here’s my situation….

    I broke up from my ex a few months ago, I asked him to please leave me alone and he didn’t. The relationship was mentally and emotionally abusive for a long time and it was difficult to leave as I kept thinking that if he saw what a good person I was and how much I loved him he would change.

    Anyway, I severed all ties with this man but he kept texting calling emailing, nothing threatening but distressing and sometimes very nasty,  and some nice,I just wanted it to stop. My therapist advised me that I may need to seek advice by the police on this matter and I did. To cut a long story short they weren’t very helpful as the measures (court) seemed rather extreme and they didn’t think there was any thing threatening about the messages. Advised me to email him one last time and reiterate my position for him to cease contacting me and I did that and told them I had no interest in any court procedures.. Since then there has been nothing and I feel as if I am healing finally and I’m moving on . Now several weeks later they’ve called,The police, and said they need to go talk to him. I said no, why after all of this time as I have told them my position and there have been no other incidents.

    I feel as if I am being dragged back into a mess I wanted to leave behind and to be honest now that I am in a better place I feel guilty for taking the measures I did. I also saw the ex over the weekend and he didn’t look well and is it crazy of me to want to protect him? warn him about what is coming? Pay him that courtesy? I know it is ridiculous but one of my thoughts were that he would hate me 🙁

    I am trying to convince myself I made the best decision I could at that moment and now I am trying to make the best decision I can with these new events. What does anyone suggest?

    Thank you

    Munro

     

    January 3, 2018 at 7:27 am #184849
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Munro:

    It is possible that the police has another matter on their mind regarding visiting your ex boyfriend. When you approached the police about him, they told you there is nothing they can do, that his behavior didn’t call for their involvement.

    Maybe something came up, another matter involving your ex boyfriend, and now they do have a reason to visit him, and in that visit they will include your complaints.

    I think it is best that you leave the matter alone. It is a good thing that he indeed ceased contact with you, and you did the right thing telling the police that indeed there has been no contact. You already protected him by telling this to the police.

    And now, that there is no contact, which is what you wanted, keep it that way.

    anita

    January 4, 2018 at 1:45 am #184965
    Eliana
    Participant

    Hi Munro,

    It is best to stay away, as best as possible from the whole situation. You have to remember this was an abusive relationship you had to endure. Please don’t feel sorry for this person, do any “warning” or have any contact. Let the courts and the police do what they need to do. They are going to need alot of help in the meantime, quality Psychotherapy, anger management, etc. This is not a situation you want to be involved in. Any time you start to feel sorry for them, remember, what you were put through. Best to have no contact, and find someone more emotionally stable. Wishing you a Happy New Year.

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