Hi Tracey,
Well first the key is to do it everyday,even if it is for 5 to 10 min. Eventually you can progress up to 30 min or an hr. Regarding not staying focused, of course,you’re just starting out. You will not be able to clear your mind so easily and quickly. Refocus and regroup. If it helps start to meditate with a voice or music directing you. There are plenty of resources here and on YouTube. Hope that helped and remember to make it a habit. Everyone can find time each day to meditate.
Thank you and take care
-AP85

Hi Tracey,

“i seem to end up in some wonderful daydreams that do help calm me and cheer me up”
If feeling calm and cheerful is the end-result of your meditation practice then you are on the right track. But from what you posted it doesn’t seem to be the case.

“I always end up coming out of it feeling like i’ve been hit by a double decker bus and thats not how i’ve read it’s supposed to be.”
“What am i doing wrong?”
You are getting onto ‘the train of thoughts’.

We all know that controlling the mind is not really possible. The less we try to think of something, the stronger it will get. The mind does a constant interpretation of the things we experience; the experiences that are going on externally or even the ones going on internally in our head. We can’t stop the mind from stirring up thoughts, it is what the mind does. Thoughts will come, but what we can do is to stop getting onto ‘the train of thoughts’. Notice the difference between ‘thoughts’ and ‘thinking’. ‘Thoughts’ come by themselves, but ‘thinking’ is a choice. Thinking starts when thoughts go unobserved. You can either be thinking OR be aware of your thinking but not both at the same time. The very moment you suddenly land up in the forest is your ‘thinking’ and the very moment you have realized that you were thinking is you have become the awareness behind your thinking. Your job is to become the awareness. A thought comes up but you don’t need to follow wherever it goes. Don’t analyze your interpretation or connect it to a memory. Allow the thought to come and let it pass by. Just imagine how we swipe between the screens on a smartphone – Next, Next, Next. Swipe the thoughts on the screen of your mind.

In Zen, meditation is not trying to get into some sort of trance. It is not daydreaming or to stop thinking. Neither should you try to control your mind. Zazen (a Zen mediation) is to practice to experience directly. To not pass judgement or analyze your sensorial experiences and thoughts. For that is all they are: just your senses being triggered. It is not reality itself. Just sit and let the images in your head pass by. Thoughts may come but you will not follow them.

You are already focusing on a candle flame or an apple to not allow your mind to slip by but it’s not working as you said.
I’ll suggest you a few more things to try which should help you.

1) Counting you thoughts exercise:

– Sit in a comfortable position like you do for your meditation practice
– For the next few minutes relax yourself and begin to watch your mind
– Stay in ‘alert stillness’ and simply notice the thoughts as they appear on the screen of your mind
– Begin to count the thoughts as they arise
– Any single judging, labeling, interpreting on the thoughts that arise are again thoughts. So count them too. Any single ‘scene’ on your mind like the forest is a thought to be counted too.

Do this for a few minutes, maybe even 1 or 2, or continue if you are able to.
Note down the count of thoughts. Keep doing this practice and see the change in the numbers. You will notice that the count of thoughts per minute will have been reduced.
This simple act of being alert and mindful of your thoughts will itself slow down your mental activity giving a feeling of increased sense of peace and calmness, a sense of being present. This happens because, when you are counting the thoughts you are no more getting pulled onto those thoughts. You have become aware of a thought by counting it.

2) Count the breath exercise:

– Sit in a comfortable position
– Move your attention to your breath, make sure you are breathing with your belly and not your chest.
– Feel where you experience your breath the most. Is it in your nose, your throat, your belly? Each one of us will feel the breath at different places.
– Say for example its in your chest region. Focus here and imagine the air flowing in and out.
– It’s now time to start counting- 1 with each inhalation, 2 with the first exhalation, 3 with the second inhalation. Keep counting until you reach 10. If you lose count because of any thoughts don’t get frustrated or think that you can’t do this. Just start with 1 and continue until you reach 10.
If you cannot count 1 for the inhalation and 2 for the exhalation, then count 1 for a complete cycle of an inhalation-exhalation.

Practice this technique. Once you start to get comfortable reaching 10, gradually increase the count to 20, 30 and so on.
After you’ve got some experience with this type of meditation you can try to stop counting and just focus on your breath. Then you’re really ‘just sitting’ and ‘simply allowing’ the flow of life to happen. If the flow of life happens ‘mentally’ then it hardly matters what’s going on externally.

3) Guided Meditations:

If you are still not able to catch your thoughts when it switches over to something else, then I think guided meditations are the best for you. The audio or the video recording will simply guide you as to what to do next and you will follow. Preferably use a headphone. If your mind drifts away, the voice in the recording will catch your attention and you will again be back on track. There are several guided meditations all over the internet and you can pick the one(s) that are best for you.

Do share your experience.

Best Regards,
VJ.

• This reply was modified 7 years, 7 months ago by VJ.