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Afraid of losing my sister!

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  • April 10, 2018 at 10:57 pm #201723
    Newlifestartsnow
    Participant

    My sister is 19 and im a bit older than her. She had a long relationship in the past and during that time we drifted apart. She broke up with this person for a couple of months and our relationship has improved so much. Well now she is dating someone else and i am afraid the same thing will happen. The other person is 24.

    The last person she dated lived in Canada, we live in California, and she was about to move there. In my culture we stay close to our family. Im afraid she will make rash decisions like that as well or move too quick. They are barely meeting tomorrow and she already face times him (they have been talking a lot for over a month)

    And one more thing that really makes me ashamed to say, but that is what this site is for. She says that this person wants to be a surgeon, and is applying to medical school this year. That is my dream. I am applying soon too. What if i don’t get in and my sisters soon to be “boyfriend” does, what if she is successful in life and lives a good life and i don’t! does that make me a horrible person to think that way?

    April 11, 2018 at 4:53 am #201737
    Anonymous
    Guest

    Dear Newlifestartsnow:

    No, I don’t think you are a horrible person to think that way. I don’t think … that thinking anything at all, or feeling anything at all makes us good or bad people. It is actions that are subject to our choosing and therefore we may be good or bad according to what we choose to do, including what we say to others.

    Will you share more about your relationship with your sister, what is it that you like about her and what is it that she likes about you? How do the two of you help each other and … how do you harm each other?

    anita

    April 11, 2018 at 5:09 am #201741
    Inky
    Participant

    Hi Newlifestartsnow,

    It’s hard to be against the “no good boyfriend” when he is living your dreams. You put so much identity into You, Future Doctor, that why WOULDN’T your little sister theoretically be attracted to a future doctor? And, yes, if it works out she would be a rich MRS. Doctor (insert his last name here). Being a Mrs. Doctor is a respectable title to have in itself and you may have to actually give her the respect she deserves. If this romance works out, she will no longer be just the inept college age girl who needs guidance from her older sister.

    She may be too big for her britches. Who does she think she is, dating an older guy, not needing her sister, a flight risk who would move to other countries for love?

    A potential future Mrs. Doctor, that’s who.

    I say apply to med school and don’t think anything more about it.

    Best,

    Inky

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