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Newlifestartsnow

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Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 22 total)
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  • #297927
    Newlifestartsnow
    Participant

    ok so today!!!!

    We were at work in front of others and she kissed my head 3 times!!!!

    what does that mean????? does it mean she likes me or what?

    #237995
    Newlifestartsnow
    Participant

    everything!

    she is so intellegent, funny but in a nerdy way, she is kind when i go to office hours. I do not think she would ever go for girls, i mean i have never even done that! but this is the first time i actually go to office hours and interact with a professor, even emailing. I email her at least two times a week for school related purposes of course, but when her email comes i get so excited.

    more than anything i am really sad that i cannot take her class next semester since it is full.  please how do i stop feeling this sadness that i will never be able to be with her or even see her after semester is over.

    #197303
    Newlifestartsnow
    Participant

    So i should be the one to initiate it ?

    #149303
    Newlifestartsnow
    Participant

    well she said and i quote ” i am better off with out you” .

    i apologized if i said anything that offended her, and that it was not my intentions to hurt her feelings. but  it is almost like she did not care anymore because she did not even bother to tell me what i had said that bothered her.

    i just dont even know where we stand. like does not being friends mean not saying hi? not looking over at her? this is so weird.

    #149237
    Newlifestartsnow
    Participant

    thank you for your feedback, it just seems so wrong to pretend she does not exist when it seems just yesterday we were laughing so much. i cannot even try to fix this as she clearly expressed she does not want to be friends and that she does not want me in her life. how can i even apologize or make it right? i want to respect her space, but it would feel wrong to “ignore” her as i walk past her in class. in the few days that this has happened i have observed my other friendships and i realized that maybe my friendship to her did not mean as much as her friendship meant to me. im just so confused as what to do…let it go and accept we were not “friends” like we thought we were, or the fact that i messed up and tried to apologize but she wont forgive me and move on. she was not a perfect person either and neither am i, i just feel like she is judging me harshly and her expectations are too high.

    #148529
    Newlifestartsnow
    Participant

     

    but why not tell me that something i say is hurtful to her? i dont understand that, had i known that i was hurting her feelings i would have stopped saying that. i am left mystified and shocked without any understanding of it. and i dont think the right word is “abusive” i dont think that it was that bad. but maybe for her it was. im just in so much pain right now. i feel people now a days, dont forgive or give you a chance to fix things, they just dump you and move on. so many misunderstandings for lack of communication, if people expressed their feelings more there would not be as many misunderstandings. to her, the good outweighed the bad, to me i thought i was being a great friend, and then overnight, i find out i wasnt, and that hurts. the words she used cut really bad. i do not even want to go to class today because we have the same one. it is hard to fight back the tears.

    #148527
    Newlifestartsnow
    Participant

    but why not tell me that something i say is hurtfull to her? i dont understand that, had i known that i was hurting her feelings i would have stopped saying that. i am left mystified and shocked without any understanding of it. and i dont think the right word is “abusive” i dont think that it was that bad. but maybe for her it was. im just in so much pain right now. i feel people now a days, dont forgive or give you a chance to fix things, they just dump you and move on. so many misunderstandings for lack of communication, if people expressed their feelings more there would not be as many misunderstandings. to her, the good outweighed the bad, to me i thought i was being a great friend, and then overnight, i find out i wasnt, and that hurts. the words she used cut really bad. i do not even want to go to class today because we have the same one. it is hard to fight back the tears.

    #148485
    Newlifestartsnow
    Participant

    what happened is she has another friend who has really good grades. so she told her to apply to the same job that she was applying to. and so the friend with the better grades got the job, she did not. so i told her why she sent the application to the girl with the better grades because her chances decreased at getting in. that was one of the arguments we had. what she says about me “putting her down” i do not know, she never told me. i just feel incredibly hurt because, if i was such a bad friend, then why stay my “friend” for a long time, why stick around? i feel she did that because she needed good grades, and i let her copy my homework, quizes, tests. everything. i was her cheerleader for school, lifted her up when she said she wasnt good enough for school, when she cried because she wasnt gonna pass her classes. i was there for her. and it hurt that all this time i thought i was being the best friend i could be, and it turns out that for her, i was the worst friend.

    #148423
    Newlifestartsnow
    Participant

    i mean that she says i have been saying things to her that upset her, but i do not know of what she is talking about because not once did she say ” hey i dont like when you say x or y” she just told me right now of this..had i known i was saying something to upset her i would have stopped saying whatever it is that was upsetting her.

    #148421
    Newlifestartsnow
    Participant

    she never told me, i asked her and she did not reply back about that…i just kept telling her that if i would have known i would have fixed it or try my best. but she never said what i was telling her. i just feel like we went through a lot school wise and saw each other almost every day, studying, and then out of the blue ” i have been a bad friend all along” , but what about the times i have helped her? thank you for the reply.

    #139449
    Newlifestartsnow
    Participant

    yes exactly! but over the course i have actually grown to really like his personality, and i have decided that personality is much much more important to me than looks, i rather have a sweet guy like him over a cute guy that lacks personality. I actually told him that i could go out this saturday at noon lol i know i have made plenty of mistakes along the way, and im still learning about all this dating but its hard to put yourself out there after getting hurt and carrying that with you .

    #139143
    Newlifestartsnow
    Participant

    ok i see what you are saying….and yes i guess it does go back to one specific relationship i had…the feeling that you are not good enough for someone, that you are not worth the fight…one ex boyfriend left me with this feeling. So when this guy ended things (hollywood date) i felt the same all over again. i felt like i wasnt good enough for him, like i was not worth it….i guess this part is right…im not obsessed with him even though it may seem. and i do want to take things slow, im  just scared!

    #139125
    Newlifestartsnow
    Participant

    affected me in what way though???

    #139119
    Newlifestartsnow
    Participant

    i guess what i am saying is just based on all my past relationships or dates, i would say most if not all guys wanted to see me soon after the first date and they would always drive to me. im not saying i never drove to them but i feel like at first during the dating period the guy should court you. perhaps i was raised with very traditional thinking, but i respects others views on this and this is just my view, my values, my traditions. I dont “expect” him to drop everything for me, i just expect him to show some interest…in 3 weeks a lot can happen. I am actually talking to 2 guys at the moment who i already made plans to see this week. im just confused as to why he is not thinking about this…and yes i rejected him at first but then we agreed to see each other and then he rejected me 2 times after that, so we are on friendly terms now. We still want to tray but this is just i dont know.  why do you think something is wrong with me though???

    #139077
    Newlifestartsnow
    Participant

    I just want to say thanks Anita for always replying to my problems in life lol and of course i always want your honest opinions, sometimes others have to tell us we are in the wrong here..

    i am 26 years old and he is 23. i will be applying to medical school next year and he is currently a grad student at UCLA. Medical school takes 4-6 years depending if you wish to specialize which i do.

    He is currently employed so i think he works about 4 days a week and he gets out at 3pm. i go to shool mon-wed and friday but i get out by noon or 3pm. i do work once a week only so i always have a saturday or sunday free available for dates and such.

    we did communicate for 2 weeks before, he is super sweet and intelligent, smart, mature (well he is book smart not sure relationship smart) and his personality won me over. now his physicallity not so much as i mentioned before, but i think i can move past that issue.

    my relationship with my parents remains a very close relationship. They are the most loving, caring, adoring, understanding parents i could ever imagine, i would do everything for them and i know they would for me.

    my parents have had their issues like any other parents or people in relationships but they have managed to still stay together after 27 years.

    him on the other hand ( and i don’t judge him for this), never met his dad, so the only person in his life is his mom. he has no siblings and doesn’t communicate with any extended family (he has never met them).

    They way i see it Anita, is when you like someone you will move the stars and the moon to be with them, if only for one hour. call me a hopeless romantic, but I’ve had that before, granted it did not work for other reasons, but it was there.

     

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 22 total)