hi…
i can feel your anger and hurt because i am also going through the same phase in my life.. the difference is that the people who hurt me and betrayed me were the ones to whom i used to give utmost importance in my life—my parents and my ex. i too, get these bouts of anger and depression for the last 3 years and it has drastically affected my professional life too…but these days my sadness has reduced a bit… i don’t know how it reduced but i am slowly and gradually returning to my optimistic self that i was before..

i would suggest that u don’t have to forgive those bullies just because people are telling u to do so… forgive them only when u feel like doing so.. there’s no point in forgiving until and unless u are fully convinced about it.. for the last 3 years, i had decided that i will never ever forgive my parents or my ex..but a few days back, i contacted my ex for a professional reason (i had purposely stopped all communications with him for the last 3 years post-breakup)..although i didn’t initiate the talk about our current personal lives, he said ‘sorry’ for ditching me and there was genuineness in his voice.. now i feel like forgiving him (but i am yet to tell him so)… so, in your case, this girl had no repentance of her misdeeds so don’t forgive her.. out of, say, 20 people that hurt u maybe only 2-3 will repent.. u may forgive them then..but believe me, not all are going to repent and take responsibility of the hurt that they caused u… forgive them only when u are convinced about it.. its really hard for us to accept the fact that most of the people who hurt us are pretty shameless and have no repentance..

now, lets see what u should be doing of that enormous anger..go through this website :
http://www.lifehack.org/articles/lifestyle/six-great-ways-to-vent-your-frustrations.html
personally, i follow the no.1 and 3 method often, no.2 less often..also, i talk about it to my few of my close friends who patiently listen to me rather than just giving off unsolicited advice.-that’s no. 5…. i have started going to gym too (i had put on weight due to depression) and yes, it acts as a stress-buster.. it releases your energy in a positive way that benefits you.. i am not saying that by following these methods your anger will go away in a few days; it may take months but atleast start taking tiny steps in a positive direction…
i would suggest that spend your time more with friends and relatives who can empathize with u and where u can be your natural self and where u don’t have to fake that “i’m good” or “everything is fine”…pursue your passion or pursue things that make u feel happy..

although it may not be possible every time but try and avoid thoughts about those horrible people that destroyed your mental peace and focus on your own well-being and progress… karma is going to get them someday and if u are lucky, u will get to see that..all the best.. 🙂

• This reply was modified 10 years, 6 months ago by vitamindee.

Karma will some day strike them, I know you want to be there when it does, but maybe it has and you aren’t aware. Someday hopefully they will have children and realize, “Wow! what a jerk I was, I hope my child isn’t like that.” or maybe their children will be the victims of bullying, but why would we wish such things on their children. Bullies always disgusted me in school, and so did the in clique.

One of the things that pissed me off to no end was when I was on the basketball team in middle school and kids on my own team were divided in their little cliques and would tease and make fun of me. I was awkward for those years, I had a growth spurt and coordination didn’t come to me right away. My nose grew faster than the rest of my face and I had acne, girls called me greasy and guys called me gumpy. I was not always treated nicely in middle school, and I became obsessed with professional wrestling. I then became obsessed with working out and I never fought or anything, but I felt better about myself and I think I even surprised people. First of all they felt some type of God given superiority over others, most likely something from their parents or it was all the kids that grew up in youth football and cheerleading together.

Come highschool I didn’t put up with bullying of other people, because I hated that feeling myself. I wasn’t popular, I had a few friends and was quiet, but I wasn’t somebody who was going to tolerate it. Come my time to play varsity I didn’t want to just because some of the kids on the team.

Still thinking about them a few years ago infuriated me, I’ve even had dreams where I confronted them about their arrogance. In fact I still have dreams about them bullying me today, but I realized that is my subconscious ego dealing with something and I have to think about it and why the wound is still being healed. I am over it though in terms of allowing it to ruin my attitude and don’t think about them, if I saw them I wouldn’t be friendly to them though unless they seemed to really have changed and were genuine about it. I know they have so far exceeded me in life, and they probably don’t feel any regrets about how they were only nice to the people that were in their cliques.

Over the years I have developed my own philosophy of life and I am sure my earlier years influenced it. I really don’t think punishing them is going to do any good, almost every day I hear about some bullied kid and I know that me doing something to my bullies won’t help them. I’d rather have a positive philosophy in life and help others develop positive philosophies of life in order to not be so resentful of the past and I’d also like to get in the heads of those who are the bullies of the world and give them philosophies to live by that does not include belittling of others and sometimes it is just in their demeanor towards those they see as inferior. There is no evidence to their feelings of superiority except in terms of $$$ yet everyone knows that they don’t know how to live with less. Money can’t buy character and virtue, or happiness for that matter and neither can vengeance. I don’t think forgiveness is the answer, I think letting go is the answer. Let go of the suffering self, the ego, that still feels hurt by what those kids did to you, they were mean. It happened then, but we’re here right now and it is still bothering you. Anger is an egotistical response when something causes us anxiety, why do people have road rage? Because they have to vindicate their ego, that is they are right the other is wrong and they have to feed their ego by getting the other to realize that and admitting wrongness. I have been filled with anger and rage, I am medicated, but I also realized that anger was just an ego response and that there were always consequences to losing my temper. Instead, when I feel myself getting angry at a slight I breath and point out to myself as to why I am getting mad and why I can let it go. For instance some person cut in front of me in line at a store in my head I am thinking is this person for real, do they not see me in line? I catch my heart beating and my mind thinking of a response to put them in their place and then I stop it, what good is it going to get? and then they realize, “Oh I’m sorry I just realized I cut in front of you” and I respond, “No problem you have less than me anyway.” Maybe I don’t agree with my response every time, but at least I don’t have some righteous outburst. A lot of bullies are ignorant in the same way, what good does it do pointing out to them what they did, they will remember things differently and maybe their lives weren’t so great. Maybe someday they will become enlightened and say, “I need to apologize now” but they aren’t there yet. They will never be there if you do something about it and neither will you when you act on just your impulse to punish them. You will gain a lot more from letting it go than they will by forgetting about it, someday you may think of how your experience can help others!

• This reply was modified 10 years, 6 months ago by Mike.
• This reply was modified 10 years, 6 months ago by Mike.