Anger is not terrible and there should be no reason to suppress it or prevent it from arising all together. There are no good or bad emotions. It’s what we do with that energy that matters.

Here’s a silly question, are you an artist? Do you play a musical instrument or write poetry?

I used to be afraid of my own anger too, thinking that if unleashed, I would hit my wife or perhaps even kill someone. But I know deep down inside that’s not true. When I get angry, I need to write or listen to some really powerful music, or go for a really fast hyper intense run.

I’m wondering if you had a creative outlet for your emotions, you could possibly do some amazing things; belt out a new #1 hit, paint a canvas ten feet high that embodies your frustrations, take part in a spoken word event and share your soul with the world.

Maybe that little Jeremy inside who has just come home from the babysitter’s wants to express himself. He doesn’t want to be placated with food! He has a voice and it wants to be heard! It could just be a matter of finding the right medium to express yourself.

Here’s a little inspiration 🙂

• This reply was modified 10 years, 8 months ago by John.
• This reply was modified 10 years, 8 months ago by John.

Jeremy,

I can sympathize with your anger, because i myself have been very angry,and like you i dont seem like it on the outside. For me my anger stems from childhood as well and have every right to be angry about them. But at some point i have released that this anger is consuming, and on some level the things that have happened in my childhood have made me the person in am today.
I think that your are just going to stay angry at yourself and the rest of the world if you dont acknowledge your anger. I think on some level you are just making yourself more angry buy not saying to yourself that you are angry. You will not be able to do anything about it if you dont accept it. Don’t worry about what people around you will think about you accepting it. How can it be any worse than,what you already do to them or yourself?
Right now your anger is who you are.

Jaydee,

What you seem to be describing is something my teacher called negative negativity. It is when anger seems justified, like it belongs there. It is seductive, because the more angry we get, the more vibrant the perception of injustice becomes, until we’re charged and ready to destroy the unjust actions or people.

This is stupid. Consider that the world we are in is like a fertile field. We implant actions and reap fruit. Punching the field seems just, if it has given a bitter fruit. Maybe we’ll “let it know the fruit was bitter” more clearly if we strike at it. It doesn’t work that way though. What we do is implant a strike. Said differently, we don’t sow resolution of injustice with anger, we sow anger. Then we reap more injustice, more “reasons to be angry”.

So we walk away from it. Say screw that, my mind and body are far too sacred to knowingly implant anger. From that moment on, we only implant it reactionary… when we forget or there is too much chaos to see a better path. Such as my child walking toward a hot stove, I might blert “stop” with anger because of the intensity of the fear.

However, in other situations it is “wait, this feels like anger again, where’s my breath, my cushion.”

With warmth,
Matt