Ever since I was small my Father and mother have fought every single day, never really showed me any love or support. I don’t really want to explain it in detail, but I think it’s pretty bad. I’m in my 20’s now and have been with this guy for a really long time. We’ve been on a break for a few months, but we always hang out. The reason being that he was going off to college very far away, but now he’s decided that he wanted to stay because he didn’t want to leave me. We haven’t officially gotten back together because we’ve come to see that I have anger issues. I generally am not an angry person, but when I am around my parents for a remotely long time, I just turn into a monster.

I would start telling him about how angry I am about my family and go on and on about it… and then it turns into me taking it out on him.. I just nag and nag him about getting back together and the conversation usually ends with me being angry while he is actually very calm and kind and explanatory. We’ve talked about it numerous times, and I just don’t want to nag him on anymore. I want to be able to change myself from this anger. I feel like I am this way because my father is angry every day and it rubs off on me when I see my lover. My parents have been abusive for a while and I just came into realization that I grew up with many emotional dysfunctions maybe because of them. I don’t want to blame them anymore and I want to overcome my anger. I know he loves me so much and things can change. I don’t want to be this way anymore. I recently have dealt with depression and social anxiety very well and I’m close to recovery, but anger just always seems to be silently there.

I don’t want to lose this person. We’re both very important to each other. I don’t want this to tear us apart. Not only just my relationship with him.. I want to be able to do this for myself. I know that this will not help my health. I don’t want to be constantly talking about how angry I am about my parents all of the time…
Can anyone give me any tips?

I was thinking about maybe trying to start programming and get a job to move out of my parents. I’m not sure if he would move in with me, but if i’d feel happier moving out on my own. I’d be glad to.
I’ve tried telling my father about his anger and trying to have him read many tinybuddha articles, but he just really strikes up.

I know I can’t change the way my parents are to me, but I can change the way I react about it, but sometimes the anger just lingers in me that I just can’t let it go.