Hello,

I am writing because I feel very anxious. I had depression and anxiety two years ago when I was finishing my phd dissertation. I recovered and finished my PhD. I was feeling very good. I moved back to my country and I was looking for a job. I got one very good offer in UK and I accepted in December last year. I should move there at the end of this month but I am feeling very bad. I was also in a long distance relationship. My ex-boyfriend came to visit me in my country in January and the things were not as good as before. I noticed he was more distance and I myself lost a bit the motivation. We were traveling around in my country and decided to ask about the “future” plans, which was not good idea considering that things were not going well. Before he had said he wanted to be where I was, and that he would visit me in my new job and we would move step by step in our relationship. But this time he just said he couldn’t imagine a future with me, that perhaps he could visit me a couple of times but that was all. That was very hard because we still had to travel together and I could not let him alone in a country where he did not speak the language. I was confused and I perhaps I also thought he would change his mind. I had imagined our trip was going to be full of joy and happiness but it turn out in an uncomfortable situation. I started to have anxiety again, I couldn’t sleep or eat, and I only wanted to cry while still I had to see his face those days.

I know I need to work out in myself. I really afraid I will ended up in a deep depression again, but wat worries me more is my new job, right now I don’t feel I want to go abroad anymore, but I need the money and I don’t have any other offer. I am having problems to plan my trip, I feel I lost my self-confidence, I felt rejected because the way he managed to break with me, I don’t know where to start,   and how I can cope with the breakup while moving out.

Thanks for reading and hope to have some insights.