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Anxiety over Wedding Invite

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This topic contains 18 replies, has 4 voices, and was last updated by  anita 1 week, 1 day ago.

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  • #296127

    Anxious Irish
    Participant

    I wasn’t angry I guess just frustrated because I can’t have anyone defend her. She is a disease on the blight of humanity! Seriously, everyone seems to see it but they are all too worried about causing offence.

     

    You see you hit the nail on the head – I thought you had to go to these things to have friends and be popular! I have 3 very good friends who I love and that’s enough for me, but only 1 of them will be there tomorrow.

    I do worry I do have a form of autism, is that possible to be undiagnosed at my age?

    I second what you say about the animals. I couldn’t survive without mine. They’re my whole world.

    #296135

    nto
    Participant

    Dear Anxious Irish, I think this article will also help you: https://tinybuddha.com/blog/30-reminders-for-sensitive-people-who-feel-drained-ashamed-or-judged/

    I wish I could go at the wedding and be your wingwoman for the night. I understand your feelings all too well. For me the way I deal with these things changed when I started having health problems because of spending too much time with people who were wrong for me. I was like, “well I’m not going to die for nobody, they can go …themselves”. There is nothing wrong with you, I promise. If more people were more sensitive, the world wouldn’t be this cruel. It’s great that you have found some people who support you and love you. I guess the “be polite” advice is better than my “put her in her place” advice, lol. You can do this!

    #296147

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Anxious Irish:

    Regarding your worry that you have a form of autism, if you want, you can list the symptoms that you experience which you believe indicate autism, I am curious. ( I am not familiar with any of the official diagnoses of any type of autism, but am curious as to what it is specifically that worries you).

    anita

    #298219

    Anxious Irish
    Participant

    Hi everyone, sorry for the late reply.

     

    I just wanted to check in and let you know that the wedding was FUN! ‘She’, or ‘IT’ was standing framed in the doorway as I arrived, but she looked rather sheepish and was quiet. On the way up in the car with my gay guys, one of them let it slip that due to his close working relationship with her that he would have to spend the day ‘pretending to be her best friend’. When I queried this, he said ‘That’s what EVERYONE does with her!’. So this in a way was the answer to everything (apart from your great advice here!)

    As soon as she saw me, she threw her arms around me, saying how great it was to see me. Later in the day, she bought me a drink which I accepted because, let’s face it, it was the least she could do!!! We chatted as ‘normal’ and then later in the evening, she even arranged for me to get a lift home safely so I didn’t have to take the train. She was in the car on the way back and she took my hand and held it the whole way home. I was quite open with her and said ‘Look the thing is, I thought you hated me. The way you treated me when I worked there, I could never understand’. She said she was capable of being quite brash and that because I was a sensitive person, she found it hard to handle, but she never hated me or had any bad will against me. It’s just such a shame that her actions dictated otherwise and that such a big part of my life was taken up by her being in my head.

    So I feel I can safely put her away now in the box she belongs. I have no desire to be her friend but I faced my fear and had a great day. I was one of the last ones standing too! Thank you for everything.

     

    Regarding the autism, I will write down some of my symptoms as I’m pretty sure now that I fall somewhere between the autistic and aspergers diagnosis (not severe but somewhere there).

    Thanks again everyone xxx

    #298273

    anita
    Participant

    Dear Anxious Irish:

    I was hoping you will post again for a few days after your May 28 post but then gave up, thinking you won’t- what a delightful surprise to read your update, glad you posted!

    Congratulations for going through the wedding and doing so well. I am glad that you are ready to put her in a box, so to speak, and not attempt a friendship with her.

    I will wait for your next post, I am very interested to read it and understand better.

    anita

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