Are women more aware?

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This topic has 5 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 5 months ago by Krasna.

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August 11, 2013 at 10:03 pm #40238

Sapnap3
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Dear TB friends,
I have been reading many blogs and forums on this site. The blogs seem to be a mixture of women and men, but the forums are about 80 percent women And about 20 percent men. in the relationship forums women are pretty much going through the same broken heart story with ex’s moving on (like me). So I ask, when relationships end, why do women try to find meaning and men just keep moving? I have asked this question to my gay and straight male friends. My gay friend said, well men don’t talk about their feeling so much, doesn’t mean they don’t feel anything but when they leave a relationship they have been thinking about it for a long time so when it ends, they are quick to heal.
My straight (happily married) friend said, well we know when things are not working but we don’t leave till we have someone else because (and I quote) “you don’t leave your job till you find another one”. So why is it that we women try to find ourselves and men are just happy the way they are? I know we have men like Matt and John around to help us but they are anomalies. So if we become self aware, are we ever going to be with someone who is? Or are self assured women are destined to be alone?
I would love some feedback on this. I have been struggling a bit with this.

August 11, 2013 at 10:58 pm #40240

Matt
Participant

Sapna,

I don’t think we’re anomalies, perhaps just not where you’ve been looking. Sometimes when people get in ruts they look in the same places, the same types of people over and over until they resolve whatever it is that draws them there. Once we step out of hiding and live from the heart, we find more people like us. Gender plays some role, but not because of sex organs, in my opinion, but because of social conditioning (though certainly some genetic factors as well). There are lots of good, awake and mindful men out there… have you been looking?

This is why finding the activities we love to do and our inner warmth is so important. When we engage in our world with heart, we naturally move toward like minded people.

Namaste!

With warmth,
Matt

August 12, 2013 at 4:11 pm #40303

Sapnap3
Participant

Matt
I am not really looking but many of my acquaintances are of the same mind. Living in a big city its hard to connect with individuals and learning more about myself is going to make it harder as I wont just go out with “any man”. Many women I know, know what they want and have given up on ever finding love. The kind of companionship they want with a man who understands their journey has been impossible to find.
I do believe in the universe and a higher being. I do believe that after all this pain, ill finally have the clarity I have been searching for but people are too happy being ignorant in this world. It makes me very sad when I think of the state of the world.
Lets hope our generation and the one after us will take the time to know themselves so that the only suffering and pain in this world is caused by death or nature.
Is that too much to hope for?
N

November 1, 2013 at 2:40 am #44710
memm
Participant
That’s an interesting question. Maybe us guys get used to rejection / having to let go because it happens so often? We have to build up a tolerance because every time we like a girl and she says no it hurts, but we learn that we have to keep moving and not let it get to us early on. I could be wrong but I’m presuming most women just aren’t used to the same amount of rejection.
- This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by memm.
- This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by memm.
- This reply was modified 10 years, 5 months ago by memm.
November 6, 2013 at 5:25 am #44900

Andrew
Participant

In my experience I’d say this is generally true. I did counselling training and out of 30/40 students I was one of maybe 4 guys.

Sapnap3, it does sound like you are looking on some level. Just frustrated.

November 10, 2013 at 9:21 am #45095

Krasna
Participant

Hi memm.
I agree with you. Women are not used to rejection, and it hurts-I have been rejected myself(I’m a girl), so it was very, very hard on me. But somehow I know I should not give up in any sense, because I will never find my guy that way. And that does not mean that I will stop looking, and stop loving. I think that no one should give up. Women or men. It can be hard and painstaking, but only if you make it like that on your self.
My rejections exist because of me. I loved one guy, but I was afraid of being with him because of number of factors, I was unsure, and deep down I knew I should not be with him, no matter how much I loved him-that is why I got rejected, and I’m glad for that today.
I’m a different person now because of the rejection.
And now, although I’m once again in love (with no prosperity what so ever) I know why I am-because deep down I don’t really have come to except and love myself completely, and until I do that, I will keep getting rejected-because it is me that is actually making the rejections. My heart says:yes I love him, I am ready, but my subconscious says: until you come to love your self the way you want to be loved, you will not find the love you seek.
Once again, I say, I guess I need to evolve more and more, since I know I don’t want to enroll in relationships that are drama-like, or that will have negative impressions on me, I keep getting rejected.

So, to Sapnap3- all those women that say they have given up on finding love- they have given up on thoroughly loving themselves-their whole being. It is one thing to KNOW what you want, and it is another thing actually to LOVE yourself to the point of not having the need to be loved from other beings, but yet having the openness for a love that is equal to their own and merging into a even greater one.
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