April 23, 2013 at 8:53 am #34403Beth VenusParticipant
Reading this tiny buddha post made me think a lot about love: http://tinybuddha.com/blog/you-have-to-know-what-kind-of-love-you-deserve-to-attract-it/
I wondered what other people here felt about it. I feel like I know what kind of love I would like, know the kind and degree of love I can give, but I haven’t attracted it into my life (romantically) in the way I have hoped, despite experiencing relationships. Is it just a matter of waiting for it? Or of being more careful in making sure that the person you’re with is the kind of person who is both willing and able to give the love you deserve and the love you will return?April 25, 2013 at 8:54 pm #34826wisteriaParticipant
I enjoy that post as well and I find this post http://tinybuddha.com/blog/5-tips-to-recognize-and-honor-your-needs-in-relationships/ is equally important.
I really think its a combination of being at that place in your life where you are balanced emotionally and finding that right guy as well. Its all about chance but change is for the ready!
Granted we can wait around for that love, we also have to actively put ourselves out there and search (I know…lol it seems contradicting to wait but to search as well).
I think as a women this day and age its very important to state our needs and if he is a honest worthy guy then he will tell you whether or not he can meet your needs/is on the same page and looking for the same thing. Maybe is not an answer, it really means no.
Just keep in mind that you deserve the best and he is out there waiting for you 😉
Best of luck!April 30, 2013 at 8:27 am #34977anneParticipant
It sounds like you are ready, have a close look at your circle of friends and extended friends…be yourself..be open to new opportunities and above all love yourself. I believe in fate and love will come and wrap its arms round you when you and they are ready.April 30, 2013 at 9:14 am #34981StaceyParticipant
Wow I just stumbled upon Lori’s Wanderlust presentation and became intrigued. I just read her article, “How to Let Go of a Past Relationship…” and I joined this forum in hopes of making new connections online. I have been divorced twice and have 2 early-ten daughters. My latest divorce ended 3 years ago and since then I have consciously chosen to work on myself and put dating on hold. So now I feel like I’ve done the work, and I’m ready for the reward. I want to be loved again, and how do I get it?May 7, 2013 at 8:05 am #35202LauraParticipant
I agree with anne – its not just about waiting for that right person to come – we have to do stuff to meet people. E.g., I try new activities every time I have a chance for it (or willfully make chances for it), signed up on several dating sites a couple of days ago, and told everyone I know they should bear in mind I’m looking for a boyfriend.
And when atually meeting new people I suggest knowing your own worth and letting the people unfold: first dates are all about fun, then you do more examining whether YOU find that person interesting instead of putting effort to be liked, at the same keeping your good traits visible. What is most important is not to go chasing after love, cause that might get you into relationships you would not to be in (and believe me, I do know what I’m talking about:)).October 5, 2013 at 8:07 pm #43284JoeParticipant
I don’t know…From my experience, everytime I put forth the effort to look for a relationship (dating websites, etc.), it really never amount to anything. It is when I just let go and just focus on my life that someone pops up out of nowhere.October 6, 2013 at 4:56 pm #43306Bubbles G.Participant
An old post revived…but, here is my two cents.
I’ve been doing the online dating thing for a long time. Like Joe, I often felt like the men I met would not amount to a relationship. Until I met one fantastic guy. A guy who, on the first date, was not afraid to let it out and be honest. We talked about one thing the “rules” say you should not talk about, which was religion. We discovered that we both had the same attitude toward organized religion. I thought to myself: “Finally! A guy I suspect is not afraid to share his feelings and opinions in a non judgemental way with a complete stranger.” This was quite refreshing and I became very infatuated with him. I became so anxious about saying the wrong thing and he would not longer be interested in me that it took me sometimes days to respond to his text messages. What happened to the feeling I got from him from our first date? Apparently I completely forgot about that.
Needless to say, things fizzled. I felt like I played it too cool and blew all my chances. He stopped responding to me. I beat myself up, wondering what I could do. And then it dawned on me:
I finally realized what it was about him that I liked so much. It was his relentless compassion towards others. He was a teacher, spent a lot of his free time volunteering with troubled kids, and (seemingly) always helped his friends and family when he could. While I did not volunteer at the time, I have always been the person who helps out a complete stranger, even if it meant I was going to miss my train or be later getting home than usual. I realized that these qualities were more important than someone who was not afraid to speak their mind (in a non judgemental way). How would I ever find these qualities in a man on a DATING website? It dawned on me that it’s a complete crap shoot, so to speak. I needed to start seeking out these types of people. I started volunteering my time and giving back to others (not by chance). I did not do it with the soul intention of finding the love of my life, but rather to surround myself with people who had the same attitude as me. Since then it has made me a far happier person because I feel like I am able to be up front and honest with myself. While I have not met my soul mate as of yet, I have met many individuals who have the same mind set as me. To me, this is step one.
Like Anne said, examine who is in your life and what they mean. Open yourself to new opportunities and love will eventually find you.