Coming up with a list of character traits and life choices/realities of a potential partner that would place them on a deal breaker list takes a great deal of self knowledge as well as a mature expectation of Love.

My experience lead to a realization that relationships tend to be experienced on two levels. The level of the stuff of life, jobs, family, hygiene, taking out the garbage… and how such stuff is negotiated, shared, compromise, boundaries, what is acceptable and what is not…

The other level is spiritual (might not be the right word) a sense of being that comes from being seen and known. The sense of self that by being with the other is inspired to do and be more, to expand, to support, encourage, to be present, to be seen as we are the good the bad and the ugly and loved, to be witnessed and to witness. This level is not intended to be lived in 24/7 but touched on and available especially when the stuff of life becomes troubling.

You might think that if you have the second Level everything in the first level would work it self out however the stuff of life will get entangled and confused getting in the way of the ability to connect with the second level. As Well Life demands growth, and if life requires that one person becoming requires taking a job in Canada and the other take a Job in France LOVE may require the relationship to end regardless of, and because of, Level Two.

Having a good understanding of what one expects and needs from the stuff of Life to Grow, to experience meaning and purpose (even though meaning and purpose are subjective, such attributes our attributes of the experiencing love – not a paradox) should be part of go or no go… but not held to rigidly. The stuff of life is always in flux and as you grow older growth tends to move inward … eventually a mature sense of self is not all that impacted by the stuff of life and relationship given greater space