Dear Anita,

sorry it’s confusing. Well, after reading various things, it’s been advised, to wait until a month has passed since the last contact before making any contact. I don’t know if that holds any weight in a situation like mine. What would the reasoning be for waiting a month?

As far as him not making any contact with me; does that indicate or seem to usually indicate anything you might have seen a pattern with after?

~L

Dear Anita,

Thank you for helping me distinguish the differences. I guess I have read so many do’s and don’ts to “getting your ex back” or something of that sort.

Would another version of “hi T, it’s L. Are you in town? Can I stop by and drop off some of your things I have? “

Im still have trouble with the wording, so it doesn’t sound too nonchalant or nonsensical. I am hoping he does respond, but I’m at a point now that if he doesn’t, it would show me it’s time to move forward, sadly.

I briefly wonder why he hasn’t initiated any contact. But I try not to think about it. I’m becoming numb to this and it’s hard to grieve like I know I should.

~L

Dear Anita,

I have the text copied and put into my text log with him, but I’ve yet to send it. Although I don’t have anxiety of sending it, I’m still a bit hesistant. That fear of rejection is still there slightly. Maybe I’m too proud to ask? Anyway, I’ve been thinking of this off and on. It doesn’t bother me as much anymore. I’m trying to get out of this blah feeling. For example, I need to do laundry, but I keep putting it off. I need to go shopping for jeans, I keep putting that off. I’ve been trying to take more hours at work so I’m not home alone or so when I am home, I can just sleep. I think I’ll go ahead and send the text after this post and turn the notification off and respond after I post a response (if I get one) on here.

Edit: actually maybe tomorrow. It’s almost 11pm here and although I’m sure he’s awake, it’s probably not a decent time. Ah f it. I’ll get over this and move on with whatever happens.

~L

• This reply was modified 5 years, 11 months ago by L.

Anita,

I sent the following text (reworded yours just a little): Hey. I miss you a lot. I was wondering if we can talk about the possibility of having a relationship, one better than the one we had. Can you let me know your thought on it?

He responded, but I don’t know what to make of his response at all: Why dont you express yourself better and tell me your thoughts on it.. what would be better…

i havent responded as its late here and I do need to get some sleep, but just a few mins after reading that, I cried for a few mins. I don’t understand why. Thank you for continuing to read my responses and thank you for responding.

Dear Anita,

I was hoping to sleep longer but looks like I might not be. I’m still a bit surprised that he responded at all. Thank you for the clarification on his response.

A better relationship:

our communication to be better – we can talk about things before letting them build

I improve my listening skills – not answer before I think

No longer make plans into the future – take it day by day

don’t involve my family until way, way later

Don’t stonewall when we get into an argument- happened 2-3x – I wanted to just walk out or I’d ask if he wanted a break

Be able to be more honest with each other

Show him that i care by making a meal – he asked that i try this every once in awhile (I’m not comfortable cooking)

I’m not too sure what else. It’s hard thinking about what was wrong. I’m mainly thinking about the break up and what he said and the few arguments we had and what they were about. I thought things were going well, but like you said he felt misery and that it should end.

~L

Dear Anita,

I edited and sent. I guess like you’ve said before it’s up to him if he wants to resume/start new in anything. I don’t feel anxious. Still a bit numb to what his response will be and how this might play out. Is that weird? I thought I’d be floating with joy that he’s responding. I probably don’t want to get my hopes up.

I definitely do not want to resume a relationship if he thinks it’s not a good relationship. But one thing I do hope is he’s able to be honest with me about how he’s feeling.

~L