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Broke up with the love of my life…Need help

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  • November 22, 2014 at 10:09 am #68243
    Calista
    Participant

    I broke up 8 weeks ago with my fiance. I feel sad and guilty. We have been for 3 years, we almost had a baby but I lost her in
    5th month. We went through thick and thin, we had so many problems coz of our unhealed wounds (he and I had a painful
    childhood). I went to therapy, so I could handle them better, but he never did. So our relationship was difficult anyway, but I
    wanted no one else than him, and I wonder if I ever want anyone else!
    The biggest problem I had with him was TRUST. He was lying at me very often, I guess he never cheated, but he needed
    attention from outside, no matter from who. I found that weird. He was also lying to all his friends, his family, even
    when there was no need to lie. His kindergardenfriends who knew him since 20 years even did not know how he
    gets his money, what he experinced in highschool…nothing…I was always wondering why he never told me anything from his youth..
    But I just thought: Well there are reasons for his secrets…
    I never thought that I will end it, never!!! But I did. It felt like as I have to let him go. As if he still need to find out who he is without me. I had the feeling as if he uses me always as an excuse why his life is a mess. He blamed me for almost everything. Somehow I knew that he has still a long path to walk, and that his path is not mine.
    I had to let him go…I did not want to…and I do think I will never let another man in my life again.

    November 22, 2014 at 1:56 pm #68251
    belove
    Participant

    Dear Calista,

    Every breakup is hard, even if deep down you know it is the right thing to do. My hugs to you. I am so happy for you that you got the courage to let go of something that dragged you down. I was there in your shoes and I can relate to the feelings. It is just too much when someone else points the finger at you for everything that’s wrong with their life. The wisdom in you already saw this through. Life always has a way of renewing and growing. You sound like a beautiful soul. Beautiful things will happen for you. Believe that things will get better and they will. Put the focus back on you. As you said, your fiance has to do the same. He needs to learn his own lessons. You’re going through a hard time right now. But it can be a time of self-reflection. Time to look into yourself and embrace all that you are and grow. Give yourself this time. And be very patient with yourself. Much love and warmth to you.

    “Just when the caterpillar thought the world was over, it became a butterfly!” Proverb

    • This reply was modified 9 years, 11 months ago by tinybuddha.
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