Dear wish:

Do you think it is your dream that is bringing you suffering (what you stated), or is it giving up on the dream two months in and returning to your family, that is bringing you suffering?

anita

Dear wish:

Notice this: your very first sentence in your original post is: “Hi. I had a dream to go abroad and live there as I wasn’t happy in my country.”-

you were not happy in your country, living with your family, at 29 and long before that age.

You left to Canada September 2016 and were happy for a short time, then you felt guilty for leaving behind your family, so you went back and you are unhappy again, just like you were before. Maybe more unhappy, because now you don’t have the dream- to live elsewhere.

Will you share about the unhappiness of you living with your parents/ family before leaving to Canada?

anita

What exactly was your dream? Was the actual problem the loneliness you faced when you left or the dream?

Dear wish:

I don’t believe god is testing you or punishing you. But then, I don’t believe in a biblical god, such that will test people and punish people… punish you for having a dream.

You wrote that your family supports you- how are they supportive of you…?

anita

“The most painful state of being is remembering the future, particularly the one you’ll never have.” ― Søren Kierkegaard

You are torn between two worlds, the dream and the choices. You pursued your dream however missing your family you made the choice to return home and now mourn the loss of a dream. That choice to return home was perfectly understandable and valid. But yes it came at the cost that you now mourn and so find yourself stuck

“In February, the overcast sky isn’t gloomy so much as neutral and vague. It’s a significant factor in the common experience of depression among the locals. The snow crunches under your boots and clings to your trousers, to the cuffs, and once you’re inside, the snow clings to you psyche, and eventually you have to go to the doctor. The past soaks into you in this weather because the present is missing almost entirely.”
― Charles Baxter, The Feast of Love

I relate to the predicament of not being able to take full ownership of the decisions we make. Instead we mourn a remembered future that the decision we made took away and find ourselves stuck and so never living in the present. To move forward you must reconcile yourself your choices, own them, learn what there was to learn and then start again.

And of all the gifts arrayed before me,
This one thought at this moment in my life is the most precious.
And so, we begin again. – The Feast of Love

“Perhaps when we find ourselves wanting everything, it is because we are dangerously close to wanting nothing.” ― Sylvia Plath

“You never know what’s around the corner. It could be everything. Or it could be nothing. You keep putting one foot in front of the other, and then one day you look back and you’ve climbed a mountain.”
― Tom Hiddleston

1. Goals are something you are acting on. Dreams are something you are just thinking about. Goals require action. Dreams can happen without lifting a finger, even while you are asleep.
2. Goals have deadlines. Dreams are just, well, dreams. Goals must have a deadline. They have a time limit. Dreams can go on forever. In fact, many people maintain dreams their entire lives without ever reaching them.
3. Dreams are free. Goals have a cost. While you can daydream for free, goals don’t come without a price. Time, money, effort and sweat. How will you pay for your goals?
4. Goals produce results. Dreams don’t. Want to change your life? Your job? Your status in life? Goals can do that. A good friend of mine made six-figures on the ebook he published. He did that. Had it stayed as a dream, his life would have been as it always was.
5. Dreams are imaginary. Goals are based in reality. You may dream of being Superman, but that is probably not going to happen. Goals are about what you can actually accomplish. They are grounded in the reality of our world. Goals should be big, but not supernatural.
6. Goals have a finish line. Dreams never have to end. Dreams can go on forever. They don’t have to have an ending point. Goals must have a specific outcome.
7. Dreams can inspire you. Goals can change your life. Dreams can bring you motivation. They can inspire you. But, goals can change your life forever.
8. Goals must have focus. Dreams don’t. Dreams can be drifting, ever-changing thoughts. Goals must be laser-focused. They must be specific and they must be always on your mind.
9. Goals require hard work. Dreams just require your imagination. Dreaming is easy. Almost everyone has a dream. But, fewer people have goals. Goals are hard and they require hard work. (See #3)
10. Dreams stretch your imagination. Goals stretch you. Dreaming leads to bigger dreams. They stretch the limits of your imagination. But, goals stretch you. They increase your skills, your abilities, and change you forever

Dear wish:

A dream without planning, I understand. It is an important lesson to learn at 29 or at any age. I know a man who is older than sixty. He had a dream that selling a particular product will make him a lot of money, so he bought a lot of that product, no research, no planning and it didn’t work out and he went bankrupt. Lots of older and old people still dream, and without planning, without gathering information, they go for it… and fail.

Please don’t be hard on yourself for learning this lesson at 29. You now know how important family is when they are supporting, and how lonely and depressing it is to be in an unfriendly place.

I hope you find employment as a teacher and do well!

anita