Home→Forums→Tough Times→Can i still find happiness? Should i not give up on fixing my physical issues?
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February 28, 2022 at 2:43 pm #393851
AnonymousInactiveHi everyone,
So i’m a guy with physical issues in my body which is scapular winging on my right upper back, and also the edge of my collarbone pops out higher which gives a bad look. And i dont want to do a surgery..
I tried doing exercise at home daily by taking tips from the internet, but it doesnt fix this issues.
Do u think i still can find a partner who will love me if i cant fix this issues? Can i still find happiness?
Should i keep going forward, not giving up, and try to fix these issues?
February 28, 2022 at 3:09 pm #393885AnonymousGuestDear Eric:
“Do u think I still can find a partner who will love me if I can’t fix these issues? Can I still find happiness? Should I keep going forward, not giving up, and try to fix these issues?” – Yes, Yes and Yes!
You can find a partner who will love you and you can be happy sometimes (no one is happy all the time). The issues that can be fixed, have them fixed; the issues that can’t be fixed, accept them. This reminds me of the Serenity Prayer: “god, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference“.
Feel free to post again anytime, and I will be glad to reply to you.
anita
February 28, 2022 at 6:46 pm #393947
TommyParticipantThis society we live in .. is very body conscious. But, this doesn’t mean you need to go thru surgery to look nice. One does the best they can and hope for the best they can. Accepting oneself is the first step to finding the right person. When one is comfortable in one own skin then other will sense that and be comfortable hanging. Be open to love and hopefully love will come. Of course do not be shy. Present oneself and ones feelings. Good luck.
Whether anyone will find the right person for them is a battle of odds. Sometimes one gets lucky and sometimes one doesn’t. But, one should always try. Someone said, it is better to love and lost than to never have love at all.
March 1, 2022 at 8:20 am #393969AnonymousInactiveDear anita
Thanks for your response.
Tbh i always knew that we’ll have to accept the issues that can’t be fixed must be accepted, no other way around. Because if we want to survive in this world, we’ll have to keep facing forward.
But the truth is that it’s easier said than done, as we humans are a complicated creature… like my mind who keeps on reminding me of the past mistakes that i did when i was younger which resulted into the outcome that possibly can’t be fixed, it continues to make sure i feel regret.
Day by day i keep combating this inner issue of mine, hoping that this problem will end.
March 1, 2022 at 8:27 am #393971AnonymousGuestDear Eric:
“If we want to survive in this world, we’ll have to keep facing forward” – a profound statement, it should be framed and put on the wall for display or put in big letters on a billboard for everyone to see.
“My mind who keeps on reminding me of the past mistakes that I did when I was younger which resulted into the outcome that possibly can’t be fixed, it continues to make sure I feel regret. Day by day I keep combating this inner issue of mine, hoping that this problem will end” – I would like it if you shared more about this regret, about the real or perceived past mistakes that you made, and the outcome…?
anita
March 3, 2022 at 12:52 am #394126
HoneyBlossomParticipantHi Eric,
Have you been to a doctor and/or seen a physiotherapist. I was wondering that more from the point of discomfort and any future problems which could develop from the injury. I am under the impression there are various types of surgery, and also some people don’t require surgery and the problem, depending on severity, may be f i fed with physiotherapy.
March 5, 2022 at 10:50 pm #394386AnonymousInactiveDear anita,
I would like it if you shared more about this regret, about the real or perceived past mistakes that you made, and the outcome…?
Tbh the physical issues in my body is created by my bad way of sitting posture, before this physical issues appears… i used to really hate my appearance (which is my facial features and my physical state) and i keep blaming myself for it. And therefore i didn’t provide any love for my body and didn’t try any method to improve myself. At that time i knew that my sitting posture is a bad habit but i feel lazy to fix it because i don’t have any love for my body and resulting into this physical issues. This is due to the envy i feel whenever i saw most people have better physical state and facial features, i keep comparing myself to them and i feel less.
The same goes to my regret back on my uni days (i’m working rn)… i feel so less of myself that i don’t take my courses seriously, well i never failed any module but my grades are bad and now i regret it. Every time there is a discussion about uni i’ll tend to avoid it because i don’t want people to know my poor grades. I also feel so devastated every time i saw someone posting their achievement in their uni days.
Right now as i’m older, i’ve matured in a lot of ways… if i have this current mindset i wouldn’t have done those mistakes in the past. Especially on my appearance as i can’t change it, i realize that life is much more than comparing myself to others… i used to thought that people might judge me, but the truth is people don’t care as they have their own lives to worry about. I just wished i notice this sooner.
March 5, 2022 at 10:53 pm #394387AnonymousInactiveDear HoneyBlossom,
Have you been to a doctor and/or seen a physiotherapist. I was wondering that more from the point of discomfort and any future problems which could develop from the injury. I am under the impression there are various types of surgery, and also some people don’t require surgery and the problem, depending on severity, may be f i fed with physiotherapy.
Nope i haven’t seen a doctor/a physiotherapist due to the covid situation in my city. But once the situation is better, i’m planning to consult them to try and fix this issue.
March 6, 2022 at 1:45 am #394390HoneyBlossomParticipantHey, I’m really pleased to hear that. All the best.
I can get quite fixated on my appearance as well. I’ve been like this m oist of my life, and in my 60s now so it’s no so bad.
March 6, 2022 at 11:41 pm #394470AnonymousInactiveI just found out that the bump on my shoulder won’t go away unless i took a surgery to have them cut the bump, and i didnt want that. The recovery treatment without surgery is only to reduce any pain if i suffer from it. But in my case there isnt any pain, only a bump on the shoulder.
I’m feeling devastated right now as i’m going to live the rest of my life with that bump. I should’ve feel grateful of my appearance back then, now i did a mistake that is permanent. It’s hard for me to swallow this fact.
I feel like this is my punishment for not being grateful back then, but still this is too harsh on me.
March 7, 2022 at 4:45 am #394473HoneyBlossomParticipantDid you go to doctor Eric?
March 7, 2022 at 6:26 am #394477AnonymousInactiveNope i haven’t. I just googled several information regarding this issue, and imo it’s accurate.
March 7, 2022 at 8:14 am #394479AnonymousGuestDear Eric:
You opened your original post with: “So, I’m a guy with physical issues in my body which is scapular winging on my right upper back“, and in your 3rd post, you wrote: “Tbh the physical issues in my body is created by my bad way of sitting posture” –
– According to healthline. com, scapular winging is caused by injuries, injuries that are either traumatic injuries like dislocating a soldier, repetitive motion injuries like trimming hedges, or non-traumatic injuries, such as caused by viral diseases and certain medical conditions, like muscular dystrophy.
In other words, scapular winging cannot be caused by sitting!
You wrote: “At that time I knew that my sitting posture is a bad habit but I feel lazy to fix it because I don’t have any love for my body and resulting into this physical issues… I’m feeling devastated right now as I’m going to live the rest of my life with that bump. I should’ve feel grateful of my appearance back then, now I did a mistake that is permanent. It’s hard for me to swallow this fact”
-but your sitting posture did NOT cause your scapular winging. Some injury caused it: not your sitting posture, not a bad habit of sitting, not laziness, and not your lack of love for your body or lack of gratefulness for your appearance.
“my mind who keeps on reminding me of the past mistakes that I did when I was younger which resulted into the outcome that possibly can’t be fixed, it continues to make sure I feel regret” – I know that you have regrets for more than your sitting posture (ex. poor grades in university), and I want to talk with you more about regrets, but before I do, I would like to know if you and I are on the same page in regard to your sitting posture NOT being the cause of your scapular winging. Are we on the same page in this regard?
anita
March 7, 2022 at 9:13 am #394488AnonymousInactiveDear anita,
So your research states that scapular winging are not likely to be caused by poor sitting posture? Because due to my sitting posture i have a scoliosis, my guess is that this scapular winging is something that appears due to my scoliosis, as my backbone aren’t aligned. But thank goodness, it still can be fixed as from what i research on google, by doing several exercises. You can say that we’re on the same page for this one.. because i’ve found the solution for it, and i’m doing the exercise daily… hopefully there is a good result from this.
The irreversible one is the edge of my collarbone that pops out, which is called ac joint separation.. my separation isn’t severe, just a mild one as it only pops out a little. And from my research it states that it can’t be fixed unless i have surgery… this is the one that is hard to swallow. I’m trying to convince myself to accept the reality. But still this isn’t the final answer as i havent consult with a physiotherapist due to covid situation in my city… but i’m pretty sure my research is correct.
March 7, 2022 at 9:55 am #394504AnonymousGuestDear Eric:
“So, your research states that scapular winging are not likely to be caused by poor sitting posture?” – according to my non-professional research (I am not a doctor, a physiotherapist or any other health professional), it is not possible that a sitting posture is the cause of scapular winging.
“Because due to my sitting posture I have a scoliosis, my guess is that this scapular winging is something that appears due to my scoliosis, as my backbone aren’t aligned” – according to healthline. com the most common symptoms associated with scoliosis include “one shoulder blade that’s higher than the other” and “one shoulder blade that sticks out more than the other“.
What this means to me is that if you were not diagnosed by a doctor with scapular winging, it is possible that you do not suffer from scapular winging, but from scoliosis.
From what I read in health tap. com, “(a shoulder) may appear to be winged due to the rotational component of a typical scoliosis“, and “the first changes of scoliosis is a rotation of the vertebrae… This may make the scapula appear winged” (scapula = shoulder bone).
Before we continue, were you diagnosed with scapular winging by a medical doctor?
anita
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