November 21, 2013 at 11:51 am #45609
Good afternoon, I just came across this site in searching for some advice while its still early. Here’s my story, there is a man who has been attempting to get my attention for over a year, I finally met with him on several occassions for lunch and happy hour. He finally asked me why cant i call you in the evenings, and asked if i was seeing someone. I shared yes and we live together, mind you I too asked if he was single or in a relationship? He explained that he too was unhappy, they dont live alone, dated for several years, but it not going anywhere. So as we continue to talk I was in the stage of ending my relationship and per him so was he. We began to confide in each other more and more and we both ended our situations as was free to openly date! One lovely evening we had dinner, wine, music and made our way upstairs to the bedroom, and right in the middle of our ACTION…I saw the hall light come on and a female voice saying HELLO???? OMG He jumped out of bed, she had walked about two steps into the room because i seen her body frame, yes there were lights on…and he kindly walked her back down the steps…NO YELLING, NO BANGING, NOTHNG!!!!! By then im completely stunned becaused he shared with me she has gathered all her belongings and returned the key! FIRST LIE……
Let me give a slight description of his character..Ive worked with him for several years, no gossip, nohting negative, and very private which drew me to him…Never married, and travels outside the country, upon his return all his pictures are just him but who’s taking the photo’s? He returns tomorrow from Bejing after being there for 2 weeks and said it was a Buddist convention or something religious but he returns each and every year!!!!! At least 4 nights a week he is at a “meeting from 5″30 to 8:30 pm, and shares this is religion based as well? OH AND MOST IMPORTANTLY he did not contact me not once while in JAPAN, claiming limited ACCESS????
Now mind you each and everytime we get together and Im in his very strong arms Im emotionally drawn to him, and my heart is all over the place! When we kiss it is so very passionate and i know this man cares for me……BUT…..My woman intuition is saying GIRL SLOW YOUR ROLL!.!!!! This man has cash, a beautiful home, very sweet, and charming but very private and never committed….HE HAS IT ALL….I dont think he is a one woman man…he also has a maid! I really think i should back off and protect my heart before it gets too late….and he is always quick to say dont think too much into it, enjoy the moment…and when it comes to express himself he lacks that!
Now..im done…any advice, comments, concerns are all welcome….Oh and i didnt add that we work together in the same bldg, manager dating a employee! He’s been tryign for a couple of years to get my attention and now look at us! WHAT SHOULD I DO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He has been practicing living as a buddism for over 20 years, has a area specially build in his home where he chants, which is very lovely…candles, chimes, statute, etc etc..and I dont know the religion or practice this.. I think he is just having fun with me and thats it!November 21, 2013 at 11:58 am #45610AlParticipant
Don’t use your heart in this matter. Use your head. It will give you the answer you seek.November 21, 2013 at 12:11 pm #45611
Can you trust yourself?November 21, 2013 at 12:12 pm #45613
@ Wiliam….I can’t around him…all the more reason I think i should PULL BACK!November 21, 2013 at 12:48 pm #45621
I don’t know you,,,,but my answer is the same… seek your own truth…please….trust your own intelligence, your beauty, you SELFNovember 21, 2013 at 12:50 pm #45622
I read a beautiful quote which I will find for you …..I promiseNovember 21, 2013 at 12:52 pm #45623
hi ..here it is..please take 2 minutes to think about it..
Reflect on those times when your own negative beliefs have silently wrapped themselves around you causing you to trip yourself up. When you find them, lean into them. Look them straight in the eye and say, “Thank you for letting me know you are here. You aren’t the truth. I am enough.”November 21, 2013 at 12:53 pm #45624
you are beautiful, you are here, you are enough.November 21, 2013 at 12:55 pm #45625
Reflect on those times when your own negative beliefs have silently wrapped themselves around you causing you to trip yourself up. When you find them, lean into them. Look them straight in the eye and say, “Thank you for letting me know you are here. You aren’t the truth. I am enough.”November 21, 2013 at 2:12 pm #45628
Thanks so much!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU ARE SO RIGHT I SHOULD TRUST MYSELF…it hasnt let me down yet when it comes to MEN! I do hoep you find the quote I would love to read/print & post!November 22, 2013 at 9:59 am #45665BryceParticipant
listen to your inner self it knows best! hes not the only guy in the world plus if its meant to be it will be but for now i say that you should guard your heart. good luck!November 26, 2013 at 4:53 pm #45845JoJOeParticipant
Ok, you both were in the process of ending your relationships. But where not completely finished? She walked in on you both and there was no argument?
Seems, this MR. Buddass. is a grand manipulator, player. etc..
You go on to mention that you’re over your head in passion. That is not a clear place of love, that is lust.
You also talk about his virtues as being a rich homeowner a passionate kisser and loves you. But does he love you when he says, “relax go with the flow, don’t think about it”
Well if that isn’t the definition of a player I don’t know what is.
Men have said this to me and what was my response. “Sorry, but thinking about my life, my future, my self worth and my direction, I never “Don’t think about it”
If you think good wine and sex set me up to sign on the dotted line of your harem, forget about it I will! I’ll go with the flow alright, as I flow out of the door and back into my life.”
Also you should write solid foundation characteristics you want in a man. Integrity, honesty, loyalty, etc.. get out a thesaurus if need be.
What would Buddha say “The traps you get caught in, often mean we have to leave a leg behind.
What leg do you want to loose because you don’t see the trap?November 26, 2013 at 4:55 pm #45846JoJOeParticipant
The trap is of your own doing. Set your virtues higher. Self worth, dignity.. Know where the traps are in your mind.December 2, 2013 at 12:34 am #46067