Jess,

I’m sorry for your suffering, and can understand how paralyzing a blank canvas can become. Anything? Nothing? Good enough? Left? Right? Yeehaw. Anything could happen, good or bad, and we get distracted (often painfully) by the possibilities. And so our concentration disburses, whatever we were about to do, gone. Path appearing obscured. A few things came to heart as I read your words.

The simple answer, don’t dwell. When we hit a block, its better to set it down awhile, step away, go do something else. Perhaps do some cleaning, help a neighbor, go exercise… try to do something active and nurturing to yourself or others. Then, as you’re out dancing your dance away from the canvas, if an idea pops in your head, pull out a napkin and jot it down. “Oh, maybe I could apply…” or “oh, I could check with…” or whatnot. An idea comes up (often inspired by auspicious coincidence), just make a note, keep going. When its time to be in front of the canvas again, pull out the notes, and pick the one you like the most. Even if it feels bleh, with fears and such, pick the best of what you have. Then, jump into one of them. Courage, girl! Follow that dream! Plant the seed! Charge! Heartfelt hopes have a way of blossoming when tended skillfully! Said differently, put some energy behind the seed, accepting that it might not grow… but hoping that will.

Finally, consider starting a metta meditation practice. As we cultivate metta, our mind becomes more stable, smooth, open. Much like a chef might eat before cooking, so her pallet isn’t influenced by her hunger, if we cultivate metta before trying to paint, job search, or whatnot, our discomfort at something new isn’t compounded as much by our daily stress. This let’s our attitude remain positive, seeing potential success alongside the potential failure. Balanced, stable. Some seeds grow, some seeds don’t. Conditions favorable sometimes, unfavorable sometimes, we do our best, pray for rain, etc. Our happiness, contentment, arises from the planting, trying, tilling.

Such as, who knows just how perfect this next job might be for you! Maybe the blankness of mind has been cropping up so you don’t do something hasty, from fear, anger, greed, entitlement, or whatnot, so you can find a path that really sings to you. Slow blossoming dreams are often the best. 🙂 Said differently, when we’re open, working to see our heartfelt dreams come true, its good to spend time growing more heartfelt, feeling the heart, before trying to make decisions. It makes it much easier to navigate, less mental noise clouding everything. 🙂 Consider “Sharon Salzburg guided metta meditation” on YouTube, if interested.

Namaste, dear sister, may heart set your path aglow.

With warmth,
Matt

Hi Jess,

I’ve gone through job loss and in my case I let it affect my self worth initially. I felt shame. Eventually I was able to get going again and I’m back in my groove with the best situation ever.

To get yourself going first you just need to accept yourself and what is happening.

Matt’s suggestion for a break is a good one. Also, do other things for your health.

Then make yourself take steps for a job worthy of you. Yes do some online job hunting (I got one job this way), and also meet people. Identify places you’d like to work and find a way to talk with someone. I’ve found jobs through contacts.

I found a great recruiter who helped me.

Go for it. Plan on getting rejections or non-answers, and also interest and offers.

Big blue

• This reply was modified 10 years, 4 months ago by Big blue.

Jess – maybe you’re thinking about too many things at once?

I would say first of all start by accepting that it’s ok not to know what you want to do. Close your eyes and breathe. Direct healing + compassionate energy towards yourself. Treat yourself as if you would treat a friend. Scolding yourself + not providing self-care won’t get you where you want to get to, + you wouldn’t do that to a friend.

You’ve obviously been through a tough time, so allow yourself to send love to yourself. It’s ok that you’re struggling. It’s completely normal in the situation.

After you’ve done that (don’t skip over it!), share with us what the ‘few’ goals you said you have, are. Also really like Big blue’s exercise.